Don't Give Up!

“So let us not get tired of doing what is good, for in due season we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9

Trimming shrubs and pruning trees is like therapy for me. It helps relieve stress. I am in a zone! Towards the end of February, I spent a week using my spare time to trim all of our shrubs, trees and rose bushes. I weeded the flower beds and while my husband was gone for the weekend, had straw put out as a surprise. We were ready for spring! 

After just a couple of weeks, the rose bushes were already full of new growth and the first lovely pink blooms have now appeared. The bare branches of the Loropetalum bushes that I cut way back are now covered with maroon colored leaves and tiny dark pink flowers. The miracle of spring! When I finished cutting and cleaning and admired my work, my flower beds looked clean but quite bare! The pruned bushes had no show of beauty, no sign of life for all my hard work. All I could do was wait.  Wait for God’s perfect timing for nature to do its thing!

It reminded me of raising children. How often have I wondered if any of the teaching I give my children will produce a harvest? It may seem that some things we plant into their lives take a long time to come to fruition. It can be frustrating having addressed the same heart issue time and again and wonder if the beauty of the fruit will ever appear on the bare branches of our child’s life. Galatians 6:9 reminds us not to grow weary in doing good for we will reap a harvest at the proper time if we don’t give up. That includes the character traits, values and attitudes we instill in our children.

I witnessed a small bloom breaking forth on our son just the other day in a specific area that we have been working on for a long time and, on the surface, looked to be of no avail.  He picked up his sister’s coat and hung it up without being asked! A small physical act, yes, but a noticeable change in heart and attitude. I had asked both of them to put their coats where they belong. Since she was doing a chore elsewhere, he got there first. Not only did he put his away but he put hers away too. This was huge! He does well in many areas, but helping his sister, in any manner, was a struggle for him.  In fact, it was unheard of! A tiny blossom had emerged.  Yes!  The scriptures, the teaching and the prayers were paying off.

Since they are older now, I can see the evidence of growth in areas they struggled with as younger children. Sometimes, our efforts may seem futile, but they are not! In the hands of our Heavenly Father and by the work of the Holy Spirit, our children are learning and growing. Keep instilling the Word in them, keep praying, keep teaching with words and by example, and pruning with proper discipline. It may happen little by little, but we will see the new growth, the blossoms and the good fruit in their lives. 

“Therefore my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

Could it Be....Me?

As I sat in a women’s conference, I listened to the beautiful voices of Selah, content to bask in God’s presence while we worshiped.  The morning had been filled with laughter thanks to Liz Curtis Higgs. She taught us to be happy with the woman in the mirror because God loved and accepted her. A task that is perhaps easier said than done.
 

During Selah’s performance, the beautiful and incredibly talented, Amy Perry, gave a brief testimony of her experience with her 4-year-old son.  In typical preschool fashion, he had done something that frustrated her and asked if she was angry at him. She told him no, she was just angry. He turned and walked off saying, “You’re always angry.” It hit her so hard. That is not how she wanted her son to remember her.

As she spoke through her tears, my heart began to tighten. I had heard those words before. “Why are you always mad?” “Daddy’s fun, but you…”  Yes, those memories came flooding back. Those questions came from a much younger version of our son. I have prayed about this for years and tried conscientiously to change, but there are some days when I am sure my kids still feel this way, but they dare not ask the question.  

So I listened more intently to Amy’s testimony. She told of how she had always struggled with her weight and was very upset with herself that she could not lose weight after her son was born.  She realized the problem was not with her son, but with herself. She was not happy with herself so her disappointment came out as anger.

It was though a light went off. Is that what it has been all this time?  Is that why I have struggled with this as well?  It was true, I did focus on my weaknesses. I could, at any given moment, give a list of my inadequacies.  Truth is, I never thought I measured up. Measure up to whom? I don’t know. What was enough? Don’t know that either. Why did I have this inner chatter of how I thought others saw me?  And why did it matter so much?

Looking for answers, I may uncover painful memories. I may dig up feelings I thought were buried. But if we just deal with the bad fruit and never get to the root, the fruit will keep coming back. We cannot deal with anything as long as we deny it’s reality. So I vow to dive into God’s word and He and I will work through this together. I am His and He loves me. 

Psalm 139:14 “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  He doesn’t want or expect me to be like anyone else, except maybe Jesus! 

  
Romans 12:6, We have different gifts, according to the grace given each of us.”  

Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Am I trying to please people? If I were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Changing Seasons

What gorgeous fall weather we are having in South Georgia! Last night was a cool, breezy night of fun playing in the backyard with the family. Throwing the football, swinging, and eating chili on the deck made us not want to come inside. Alas, the need for baths and an 8:30 bedtime came too quickly.

With all the hustle and bustle of life, there is nothing better than free-time outside with the ones you love. Especially when the cool, crisp air makes you feel like you are on vacation in the Smoky Mountains. Last night was pure contentment for me. Our family likes to keep life as simple as possible, but sometimes things run a little crazy. It’s evenings like this that really remind me of what life is all about. It’s the simple pleasures of being with the ones we love most and enjoying the goodness of God.

I told Steve I wondered if God created four seasons just so we wouldn’t get bored. It’s easier to appreciate each one when they don’t last but 3 months! I’ve learned to be thankful for the goodness each one brings. The cool, crisp air and the beautiful colors of fall, the warmth of the fireplace and snuggling up with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate in the winter, the beautiful flowers and chirping birds in the spring, and hanging out at the pool and vacationing at the beach in the summer. Of course, when shared with my family, it’s that much sweeter.

The more life changes for us, the more I am realizing that I need to relish in these simple pleasures. With the kids growing up so fast, the death of Steve’s dad, my dad being so sick and all the chaos around the world right now, life is too short and changes too often not to enjoy the blessings God has given me... and I am so blessed!

Praise the Lord, Oh My Soul

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Psalm 103:8. 
I wish I would have been slow to anger this morning. Instead, I snapped at my son for stepping on my already injured toe. Of course it was an accident, but my knee-jerk reaction was a little harsh. My, how I need to practice this verse.
On a once in a blue moon occasion, I was shopping by myself two days ago.  I had taken a much anticipated trip to Hobby Lobby, and one of their buggies took a mean gash out of my pinky toe.  It looked to be healing fine, so I left it exposed after my shower.  Not a good idea.  Nathan was showing me some karate moves this morning when he rammed his tennis shoe right into my poor pinky toe, opening the wound all over again.  I yelled, "OUCH, Nathan watch what you're doing!!!"  Then a smidgen calmer, "I know it was an accident but you don't have to be acting crazy all the time."  I finished brushing his hair while I composed myself, and told him to finish what he was trying to tell me.  As he started, he began to cry.  I pulled him close and hugged him reassuring him that I knew it was an accident and I didn't mean to react that way. I know he felt really bad for hurting me, especially after he saw my toe bleeding again.  But my initial reaction made him feel worse.
How I wish I could control those initial reactions better.  I never knowingly want to hurt my children's feelings. As I looked at my toe this morning, I saw how much farther I have to go.  Then I heard Matt Redman on the radio discussing his story behind the song, "10,000 Reasons."  (one of my favorite songs). He explained Psalm 103 had been the key verse behind the song because the Psalmist can't seem to stop talking about all the many reasons he has to praise God.  Before I even got home from taking the kids to school, there were tears streaming down my face. Perhaps, if I were more thankful for all the blessings in my life, my knee-jerk reactions who be a little different. I opened my Bible and read Psalm 103. There is no telling how many times I have read this chapter, but oh how beautiful it was this morning.  Thank God that he knows I am formed of dust and has compassion on me.(vs.14) Perhaps it would benefit my children more, if I did the same for them.
I am humbled this morning because of a crazy incident concerning a hurt toe and the beautiful words of Psalm 103, given to me at just the right time. It's good to be "taken down a notch" once in a while, and no-one can do that better than God.
Listen to "10,000 Reasons" and count your many blessings. Even in the midst of trials or just the everyday mundane, there's something we can thank God for. After all, the sun came up this morning.  

Love is Not Irritable

Kids can be brutally honest, especially boys. At least at our house. When we’re young, we don’t always have the good judgment to think before we speak. Actually many adults don’t either, but that’s a different story for a different day.

One busy Sunday morning a couple of years ago, I was frustrated trying to get everyone ready and out the door for church. Steve had already left to drive the church bus before Sunday school, and I was running behind. I remember standing in the kitchen wiping the milk from Nathan’s face, and I was quite grumpy. He sighed a heavy sigh and asked, “Why do you always have to be mad?” Ouch!

Now I wasn’t necessarily mad. I was irritated by the string of little things that had built up my frustration level that morning. But to a 6 year old, it all seems the same. My heart sank. I didn’t want that to be the way Nathan saw me. It was another eye-opening comment from one of my children.

Sometimes, the pattern of becoming easily irritated simply becomes a habit, a bad habit. It’s a pattern that needs to be broken. 1 Corinthians 13: 5 (NLT) says, “Love is not rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable…” It isn’t my “right” just because things are not going my way to get irritated with those around me. That isn’t showing love.

I don’t want my kids to roll their eyes, sigh and think, “That’s just the way mom is.” That is not what love is, so that is not who I want to be. And it isn’t who I have to be. I can wait quietly before the Lord, for my victory comes from Him. Psalm 62:1. Through the help of the Holy Spirit and time spent with Jesus in prayer and in God’s word, we can overcome any struggle with sin. We can have the victory. “Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Nathan irritated with me for taking a pic of his bed head!

Laugh a Little (or a Lot)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Proverbs 17:22

Our pastor sent us this adorable picture of Sophie that he took during VBS stating that “nothing is cuter than little girls when their giggle boxes get tipped over.” He’s right. I love to hear Sophie laugh. It’s infectious. And there is something about a group of little girls who have the giggles that is just contagious.

Oh how I wish I could laugh like that more often. I love getting together with friends and laughing. It just makes everything seem better, lighter. My thought about this picture was that I wish I could laugh like Sophie does. Sometimes I let stress and circumstances get the best of me. Sometimes I just need to take a break and share in my children’s laughter or take some time to be with friends who make me laugh and feel good. Notice I said, “take the time”. So often our busy schedules put those times on the back burner. But the busyness and stress of life is why we need to make time to be with friends and family. Sophie wasn’t laughing alone. I’m sure she had some little buddies laughing right along with her.

I know life has many difficulties, but that is why it is so important to find a way to be cheerful and laugh some during the day. Just thinking about the sad, bad and stressful stuff saps our strength. The Good News Translation puts the second half of Proverbs 17:22 this way. “It is a slow death to be gloomy all the time.” Hmm…a slow death. That’s what it can feel like when you are sad or perplexed all the time, right? So, take a break and share a laugh with someone. It’s like medicine without the icky taste. 

I dedicate this article to my father-in-law, Bob.  I wrote this last week not knowing that we would have to say goodbye to him today.   He was a man who loved to laugh, and he was a natural at making others laugh. He loved to have fun, but he was also caring and encouraging. It was hard to feel bad when he was around.  I only knew him for 11 years. I wish it could have been longer. We will surely miss him.

Trust Trumps Timidity

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 

2 Timothy 1:7.

When Nathan was younger he loved to sing in front of the church with his Cherub Choir. He always had to be square in front of the microphone, and if he wasn’t, he’d inch his way over so that he could be. Nathan was never a shy baby or toddler. He loved the spotlight. As he has gotten older, he has become very nervous about being in front of people. Not only that, but the little boy who never met a stranger has become too nervous to introduce himself to kids he doesn’t know. I never saw that coming.

Sophie was an extremely shy baby but grew out of that into a socially happy child who loves to meet new friends. She also loves to sing with her choir and recently did a terrific job with her first solo part. However, when she discovered that she had actually done a solo (she thought that since the other kids were standing with her, it wasn’t a solo) she said she was too nervous to do it again.

I know the agony of letting fear rule my heart through nervousness. Unlike Nathan and Sophie who are nervous because people are watching, my fear was what people would think or that I would mess up. It happened a lot in school and kept me from doing things I would have enjoyed, like chorus or trying out for sports. I didn’t want anyone to see me mess up.

I don’t want that for my children. My heart breaks to think that they hold back from doing things they are really good at and enjoy because they are too nervous. However, when I try to encourage them, I hear a little voice saying that I should be listening to my own words. I have come a long way, but I still have a ways to go. I play the comparison game and am afraid others will do the same. When I recently sang my first solo part in front of our church during our Easter musical, I dreaded it for weeks. I was so afraid of what people would think. What if I messed up? What if I sounded awful?  One day when I was thinking those things, I felt Jesus whisper to me, "If you really believe the words, then sing it to me and don't worry about everyone else."  That brought me peace. It didn't take away the nervousness completely, but I knew he was with me.

Our motto last week in VBS is “Facing Fear, Trusting God.” I pray that this was ingrained in my children to help them overcome their fears of being in front of people. I know God has gifted them with talents, and I don’t want them to be too afraid to use them. I also know that I need to be a good example to my children and face my own fears, trusting God to see me through. I don’t want Nathan and Sophie to be prideful, but I want them to trust God and not let fear paralyze them and hold them back. That’s not God’s desire for them. According to 2 Timothy 1:7, fear and timidity doesn’t come from him, but power, love and sound judgment does. God is helping me to overcome my fears. He is giving me confidence. Not in my own abilities but in what he is doing in me and wants to do through me. I pray that he does the same for Nathan and Sophie, only much, much earlier.

Kindergarten Graduation Day

 I had a really tough day today. My baby graduated Kindergarten. Wasn’t it just last week that I wrote about her first day?! This crept up on me yesterday, and I didn’t even realize why I felt emotional until I started ironing her graduation gown last night. I caught a glimpse of ironing her high school graduation gown. To make it worse I looked back through her preschool keepsake books that her wonderful teachers made. Then the tears began to fall.

As a mom, I sometimes get tired of being needed all the time. Come on, I am sure if you are a mom, you’ve felt that way too. Having your name called 1000 times a day, answering the 100^th question of the day or looking for that lost _____ (you fill in the blank). Sometimes it all seems a little exhausting. However, it makes me sad to think that the older my children get, the less they will need me. I’ll admit it; my whole life has revolved around my children. But the older they get, the more they need to take responsibility in order to learn how to manage life. The more they need to do things for themselves and work problems out on their own. It makes me very nervous to think about having to let my kids start making some decisions on their own. But if we don’t, they will always expect mom and dad to “fix” everything. They can’t go through life like that and turn out  to be responsible, well adjusted teens and adults.

Of course I know that as parents, our job is to guide their decision making process so that they learn to make right choices on their own. Right now, we still have the means and the responsibility to make the right decisions for them if they can’t or won’t. I pray that Steve and I are instilling in them the wisdom they need to one day make those important and even everyday decisions on their own (with God’s help). We will always be here for them, but the day is coming when we will not be able to be by their sides telling them what they need to do in every situation. Oh, I dread that day!

I realize that they may not always need me holding their hand to get them through everything, but they will always need my prayers, love and support…and they will always have it.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I recently uploaded my pictures from Christmas. Yes, it takes me a while. I found a picture I had forgotten about. It was a darling picture of Sophie and my nieces. As I looked at this picture, I saw such sweet innocence. Their cheerful smiles and bright eyes made me wish the younger four could stay this way forever. Too soon they will grow into preteens, teenagers and young women. Gabrielle, the oldest, has grown into a beautiful, bright young woman who loves the Lord.

When Sophie was four years old, I painted on her wall, in big, bold letters Psalm 139:14 “I will praise you because I am remarkably and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.” We recited it every night before bed. Since we have moved, she has asked me to paint it in her new room. I want her to know right from the start that God made her wonderful and beautiful, just the way she is.

I can't just talk about it though; I need to be a good example for her. I’m learning it takes an effort to live that out in front of her. I have to be careful not to let her see me fret about my weight or hair or skin. I want to teach her that taking care of herself is important because we are God’s temple and we are to honor him with our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19,20) We try to eat healthy, get exercise and dress appropriately as Christians.  No, I don't believe we have to be covered from head to toe, but we are to dress modestly. (1 Timothy 2:9) I  want her to have enough respect for herself and feel good enough about herself that when she is older, she doesn't feel the need to dress in a way that would draw negative attention and take focus off of who she really is on the inside. We like cute clothes and painting our toenails, but we don’t over-emphasize our outer beauty because God looks on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) 1 Peter 3: 3-4 says “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within...” I want our girls to know that they are beautiful because God loves them and made them special. They don’t have to look like anyone else but who they are.

Just like moms, dads play such an important role in their daughters’ lives. If a Daddy loves his little girl and is affectionate toward her and actively protects and cares for her, his daughter will feel like she is worth being treated with love and respect. Not only that, but if our daughters see Dad treat Mom in a loving and respectful way, she will know how her potential suitors should treat her. Daddies should be careful not to demean women or make crude comments about women. Our daughters are watching and listening.

Sophie has such a sweet nature and a compassionate heart. Our prayer is that she would be sheltered by our love and more importantly by God’s love so that the world around her doesn’t steel that from her. So that she knows she has a place where she is accepted and loved no matter what. A place where she can bare her soul and not be condemned. A place where she can make mistakes and be forgiven. A place where she can grow and learn with all the support we can give her. A place where she is free to sing and dance like no one is watching, even when we are.

Sophie and all of my nieces are unique and wonderful, just the way God made them. My prayer is that they are growing up with confidence in who God made them to be. As we encourage our daughters’ strengths, assist them through their weaknesses (without criticizing) and teach them about God’s love for them, they will know who they are. They are not just our princesses; they are princesses of the Most High King. 

Enjoying the Present

In the past two months we have celebrated birthdays for both of our children. I cannot believe that my baby is 6 and my first born is 8. Sometimes it seems like they have always been with us. Other times it seems like just yesterday they were babies. They should still be about 3 and 5. Where did the time go?!

So much has changed in the eight years since I became a mom. My whole world turned upside down and inside out the day Nathan was born. I look back now at how exhausting and challenging those early days were with two little ones only 22 months apart, and I wish I could have them back. Isn’t that funny? I miss watching Baby Einstein and Little Einsteins with them. I miss holding them in my arms (without hurting my back) and having them toddling around my feet.

So, on Nathan’s birthday, April 1^st, I was reminded of a recent devotion from our student minister during a family night at church. He encouraged us not to dwell on the past but to embrace the present. This really helped me to put my thoughts into perspective. I can dwell on the desire to have my children be babies and toddlers again (and be sad) or I can celebrate the ages they are right now. Wishing they were babies again is futile. It accomplishes nothing. Enjoying them at 6 and 8 accomplishes much.

Yes, it’s perfectly okay to reminisce over sweet memories, but they shouldn’t make us sad and long for the past. They should make us eager to make every moment count. Knowing that the days go by so fast should be reason enough for us to embrace every moment. Ephesians 5:15-16 says “Be very careful then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” So I pray that God will help me to make the most of the opportunities that I have with my children now…for tomorrow, they will be grown.

Field Trips, Mercy and Grace

Field trips. Got to love em. Well at least the kids do. After a very crazy day of chaperoning a recent field trip with my children and half of their school, we all three crashed on the couch exhausted. As Sophie worked with the remote to find a show to watch, she had to give it to me to get it where it needed to be. It’s one of those universal remotes that even I can’t figure out sometimes. As she lay down beside me, she asked, “Why can’t I do things right?” Thinking she was frustrated with the remote, I asked her what she meant. “Why can’t I listen?” she asked.

Okay, now let me back up. On the way back to the school from the field trip, we were talking about what we had to do after school. She was fussing and complaining because she couldn’t do certain things she wanted to do. Even after I explained to her why she couldn’t, she kept on. Now I knew she was tired so I was patient with her. Finally after I had heard enough, I told her she was being ungrateful. I had just spent the whole day with her on her field trip, and it was all about her having fun. After thinking for a while, she told me she was sorry for acting that way.

Then at a store, she whined and complained again because she couldn’t get a game she wanted. Even after I explained why, she kept on. Don’t you love that? Me neither.

When we got in the car, she began to cry and said she was sorry. So when she asked me at home why she wasn’t able to listen, I knew she had really been thinking about it. I knew she didn’t need a lecture. What she needed was the truth spoken in love, and she needed grace.

I couldn’t help but sympathize with her. I too wonder and ask God sometimes, “Why can’t I get it right?” After trying and trying to improve on things and going round and round in circles, I feel defeated too. Do you know what my Father gives me? Truth and grace. God knows my heart. I may not always get everything right, but He still loves me anyway. I felt like that is what Sophie needed to know. That I love her even when she messes up… over and over again. The fact that she is trying and wants to change makes me more willing to show her mercy. God also knows when we really desire to obey Him and live according to His word. Thankfully, He shows mercy upon mercy to me too.

“The Lord God has told us what is right and what He demands: “See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God.” Micah 6: 8

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 22,23

Innocent Hearts

Most of us think our children are innocent. Don’t we? Of course we do, because they are! When they are young, they see things through innocent eyes and pure hearts. While at our family gathering at my mom and dad’s house on Christmas, Sophie was playing with her new Princess Ariel and Prince Erik Barbie dolls. She had them close together as if they were hugging or dancing. She has seen this on princess movies like Cinderella where Cinderella and her prince dance at the ball. She also sees her Dad and me hug a lot.

Our entire family of about 25 was sitting around my parents’ den talking and checking out each other’s Christmas gifts. I watched Sophie as she played. After she laid the dolls down, I asked her if they were dancing? Nathan heard me and said very loudly, “It looks like they are dancing lying down!” All of the adults burst into laughter including myself. The innocence of his comment was what made it so funny. He had no idea why we were laughing.

I love that about my children. They are still so innocent. That hasn’t happened by chance though. There is enough out there in this world to steal their innocence even at their young ages. Steve and I purposely work to keep that from happening. We monitor what they see on television, they only play educational and age appropriate video games and we only listen to Christian radio. They never watch movies with anything above a PG rating. Even then, we pay close attention to the contents to make sure it is OK. Those magazines at the check-out lines with headlines that make even me blush get turned around quickly to shield Nathan and Sophie from reading the vulgar content on them.

I’m not bragging by any means. I’m just learning more and more that it takes a concerted effort on a parent’s part to protect their children from indecency or things that are too mature for little minds and hearts to understand. I love a quote from Corrie Ten Boom’s book, The Hiding Place.  When she was still quite young, Corrie asked her father about something he didn’t think she was ready to know.  This was his wise response:

“It would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a heavy load. [speaking of his tool case] It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”

Oh, how much wisdom did this man have! We need to preserve our children’s innocence as long as we can. They should be able to just enjoy the innocence of childhood. They will learn the troubles of adulthood and the perverseness and violence of the world soon enough.

Put the Guilt on Pause

Christmas Morning Fun!!!

More often than not, I have mommy guilt. Guilt when I make one of my children cry even though they deserved the correction. Guilt when I raise my voice. Guilt because I forgot to send lunch money or that we haven’t worked on scripture memorization in weeks. Guilt, guilt, guilt. And of course, there is the concern that none of the things I am teaching them is actually doing any good.

Then those sacred moments happen that let me know Steve and I must be doing something right. That all those lessons and talks have actually touched their hearts and deep down are actually taking root. Moments that remind us that we really do have great kids.

This Christmas had been quite an unusual Christmas. My sweet aunt Bertha that I wrote about in “I want to Leave a Legacy” went home to be with the Lord Dec. 22. I left the kids to be at the hospital several times during the week prior to her death. On the same day, my brother-in-law’s dad also went home to be with the Lord. We attended both funerals on Christmas Eve. Not exactly the joyous Christmas any of us would have chosen.

Even in the midst of the sadness, Christmas morning rolled around with the usual excitement and joy. It was the day Sophie and Nathan had been counting down to. I could hear their anxious laughter through Nathan’s bedroom door as I made them wait until all the Christmas lights were on and their Dad finally made it into the family room. (They were up at 6:30) After they had each opened their three presents from Santa, they did not even ask to open their other presents that were under the tree. They excitedly ran and grabbed Steve’s present and mine and insisted we open our presents first.

Wow, what five and seven year old does that? I was so proud of them that they cared more about our happiness than their own. They wanted us to see what we got for Christmas before they did. They were so sweet. I have to say, I was amazed. Perhaps all the talks of “giving is better than receiving,” and “think of others first” have actually had an impact. They truly practiced these Biblical principles that morning.

So, instead of feeling guilty all the time about something that we have done wrong with our children, it is really okay to look at the things we do right. We can breathe a sigh of relief (at least for the moment) that God is using us to positively impact our precious children.

Grace, Grace and More Grace

This morning was a tough morning. I lost it with my precious daughter. I got angry because she had lost something…again. We were already pushed for time for school and we couldn’t find her watch. Today was Neon Day at school and her bright pink watch would have been a perfect accessory (and of course I had this idea at the last minute). It was nowhere to be found.

Sophie is a free spirit and often misplaces her things. She will put them in purses, backpacks, under a pillow or her bed, any place except for where they are supposed to go. I lost it. I fussed at her about a silly little watch. It wasn’t so much the watch as the fact that we are constantly looking for something she has lost.

However this was no excuse for losing it with her and making her feel 2 inches tall. I hated myself this morning. As I walked into the bathroom and saw her crying but at the same time trying to hold it back, my heart sank. Why did I do that? Why did I go off on her like that? I held her while she sobbed and told her I was sorry. My ranting had hurt her deeply. I asked her to forgive me and she kissed me on the cheek. She showed me more grace than I had shown her.

She is such a sweetheart that when I bought that half-priced pink watch, she gave her green one to a boy at school that wanted one. She is so thoughtful. She is always thinking of me. Everyday she brings me something from school that she has made for me. At church, everything she colors or makes is for me. If she makes something for her daddy, it’s for Daddy…and Mommy. She loves me so much. Why had I broken her heart over a $5.00 watch?

You can imagine that on the way to work, I beat myself up mercilessly. “I’m a terrible mom.” I kept saying to myself. Then when I got to work, the email devotion I received this morning from “Girlfriends in God” was about this very same thing. In fact, the first line from the author read, “I’m a terrible mom!” Tears streamed down my face. This woman that God uses to touch the lives of thousands of women was telling about her "crazy person" moment when she too had lost her cool with her child. Once again, God was gracious to me. He gave me the exact encouragement I needed exactly when I needed it. He was not the one condemning me. He wanted to help me.

I don’t have to believe the lies of Satan. I really messed up this morning. I sinned against my baby girl with uncontrolled anger. But that doesn’t mean I am a terrible mom and that I will always do stuff like this. God is changing me from glory to glory.(2 Corinthians 3:18) 

My meditation verse for now is Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Obviously, I’m not there yet. I’m learning it’s a process, and I know that I can’t do it without the help of the Holy Spirit.

So fill me Holy Spirit and help me to keep my mouth shut until my emotions are calm and controlled. Amen

Sophie and I at the Cabbage Patch Hospital in Cleveland, GA

(Actual event occurred Friday, October 26^th, and by the way, I found the watch while cleaning out the van a week later. It was under her seat.)

Trust and Obey

“Don’t look at me like that when I tell you to do something.” Lately, every time I tell Nathan to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he gives me a look. If you are a parent, you probably know what I am talking about, that combined look of disappointment, frustration and a touch of anger. He also gives the same look when I correct him about something. Usually, it concerns him being nice to Sophie.

I allowed the look for a little while. I don’t want my children to think that I want to completely control their lives. I also don’t want them to stuff or bury emotions or tell them how they should feel. However, I do want to train them to live by the Word of God, which says we should do everything without complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:14). Apparently, Nathan has learned not to do either of those verbally, so he gives me “the look”.

I do insist on Nathan and Sophie being respectful, and this look was beginning to become disrespectful. Most of the time, it comes when he forgets (or gets side-tracked) and doesn’t do something I have already told him to do. He doesn’t like having to stop what he wants to do and do what I have told him to do. So I had a talk with Nathan about his new facial expressions. I told him that I never ask too much of him or tell him to do something that he is not able to do. I felt like the look he was giving me showed disrespect, and I wanted him to stop. He straightened out his face, and sighed, “Okay”.

It got me thinking. I wonder if God feels disrespected and dishonored when I get side-tracked instead of obeying him immediately. Does he feel disrespected when I obey but do it with far less than a happy heart? Through Nathan (and one of our recent Sunday school lessons), I am beginning to see this as a possible lack of respect for authority and/or perhaps a lack of trust. Nathan needs to show more respect for my authority as his parent by trusting that I know more than he does and am giving him instruction because he needs it. Am I showing a lack of respect for God’s authority as my Heavenly Father, God of gods and Lord of lords when I don’t obey him immediately with the right attitude? Do I trust that He has my best interest at heart? If I know His word, His character and His heart, I won’t have a difficult time trusting him or giving him the utmost respect He deserves. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey."

This was written about 3 months ago. I’m happy to report that I have not received any dirty looks since then (at least not to my face).

Christmas Peace

I just love Christmas! Sitting here listening to Christmas music just makes me giddy. I have vowed this year not to stress out about Christmas. Easier said than done, right? Maybe not. I am going to choose not to need everything perfect.

I already have all the Christmas decorations out. I tell myself I am done, and I hope I stick to that. Our kids have been so excited ever since we started talking about decorating for Christmas. They have been bouncing off the walls! They love everything about Christmas, not just the presents. In fact, they have not asked for much at all. They are just happy, happy, happy. Yesterday afternoon I decided to take pictures for our Christmas cards. I have to admit there have been a couple of years that I stressed out because I couldn’t get them to smile like I wanted them to or stay where I put them. Oh how silly that sounds to me now to expect two small, energetic children (or a puppy) to pose exactly the way I had it pictured in my mind.

This year the picture taking started out almost the same way. We had to get the pictures done before the sun went down too much to have enough light. Sophie especially, was being very silly and giggly. I was getting irritated again because I didn’t think she was cooperating. Then it dawned on me, this IS the way they are. If I want people who haven’t seen my kids lately to know them better, why not capture them the way they are? Silly and genuinely happy, not forced. So that’s what we did. See the pictures for yourself.

I’m taking a hint from Nathan and Sophie this year. I want to enjoy Christmas for Christmas. Admittedly, I have had to catch myself when I started to stress about lights or ornaments this year; I don’t want to stress about schedules and decorations, gifts and get-togethers…or pictures. I have decided to focus on Jesus, family and friends, giving to others and just enjoying the season that will be gone in a few weeks. Thanks to a lesson from my children and a 5 Day Christmas Challenge from Karen Ehman (Proverbs 31 Ministries), this Christmas, I don’t have to be in control of everything! And it actually feels pretty good.

Merry Peace and Joy filled Christmas!

I Want to Leave a Legacy

Today's post is not necessarily about what I have learned through my children, but rather what I want them to learn through me.   Today I spent most of the day at my parents' home enjoying their company and eating a wonderful Thanksgiving feast. It was so nice to have most of our family together laughing and enjoying the beautiful day. The only ones missing were my sister Charlene and her family.    
My aunt Bertha and Uncle Jimmie were there as well.  My aunt has had some very difficult health issues.  Issues that have taken their toll on her body and her abilities.  Even through her difficulties, she is still encouraging to others.  She still talks about Jesus like he is her best friend, because he is.  She speaks with a weaker voice, but her faith is still just as strong as ever.  She talks about God with the love and adoration of an admiring daughter, and her trust in Him has not wavered.  She still has that contagious joy and that sweet spirit that has always drawn everyone to her. 
My aunt Bertha didn't get to raise her own children.  All three died shortly after birth.  However she is like the woman the Bible speaks of who had no children of her own but was blessed with more than a woman who did.  She has touched so many lives with her faith, joy and love for others. She has taught me so much about God and the Bible.  She has influenced so many people that have grown up around her; she has many spiritual children that share in her legacy.  I want to be like her when I grow up.
That's what I want for my children.  I want to leave such a legacy of faith.  I want them to see my love for God doesn't change when trouble comes.  I want to have the Godly character and exude the fruit of the spirit so that they can see Jesus in me.  (God and I are still working on some of those). Thirty years from now when they are my age, I don't want them passing down negative characteristics or habits that they learned from me to their children.  I want them to carry on the legacy of faith and a love for God and His word that makes their influence on their children positive and good.
There are so many things that we can pass down to our children: habits, a sense of style, athletic ability,  interests, or skills, but the most important thing that we as parents pass down to our children is a passionate love for Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful for the Godly women who set an example before me.  My own mother, my granny and my aunt have sown seeds in me that I hope will continue to grow and be replanted in my own children and others around me.

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Deuteronomy 6:7

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

Let Them Live

24 weeks-considered viable

As I hugged my children this morning, I hugged them tighter and a little longer than I usually do on a busy school morning. I held them longer for all the babies who will never have the opportunity to have a mother hug them. I held them close in honor of all the babies who will not be allowed to live over the next four years.

You see, yesterday, over half the voters in our beloved United States of America voted to put back into office the most radical pro-abortion president we have ever had. A president with one of the most prominent points of his democratic platform being to provide abortion on demand right up until the time of birth. A president who voted 4 times while in the Senate to prevent babies who survived an abortion from receiving medical care. He would rather they be discarded and left to die. How sad it is that the people of our country care so little about a child’s life.

Some voters don’t know the president’s extreme policy on abortion. That’s no excuse. If they cared about life and preventing abortions, they could check his policies and past voting records to find the truth. Some voters just don’t care. They chose to vote for him despite knowing and believing that abortion is wrong and simply turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the truth. Then of course there are those who actually agree with his abortion agenda.

I’m not sure which of these three is worse. I can say, however, to a baby that is being destroyed, it doesn’t matter. To a child that has great potential but isn’t allowed the decency of even being born, what difference does it make? My heart is broken this morning. My heart breaks for all the children across this land who are mere pawns in a political war. Instead of being seen as innocent human beings with beating hearts and sweet souls, they are seen as a plague to be rid of or trash to be thrown out.

What a sad, sad day it is. So today, despite my disappointment in the American people, I am more thankful than ever for my children. I want to hold them and never let go. I’m so thankful that my mother, a mother of 5, chose life. I am thankful that abortion never entered her mind or mine. I am thankful for all the women and men who work tirelessly, even now, to save the lives of preborn children.  We will have to work even harder now. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice. ” Proverbs 31:8,9

We will have to pray even more now that God would move on the hearts of women to love their babies so much that they will do whatever it takes to protect them and give them life. That He will move on the hearts of lawmakers and judges to protect the lives of unborn children. When my children ask me what my “Pro-Life" T-shirt means, I simply tell them that I am for life and I believe every child deserves the chance to live.

Do you?

Be of Good Cheer

Have you ever just needed some encouragement? Life gets hard. Sometimes, really hard. Sometimes, things just pile up. Sometimes, you get tired of hearing about everything you are doing wrong and how you need to change this or that.

As I was chiding my children the other night for not doing something I told them to do, I felt like a broken record. I caught myself thinking, I wonder if they ask themselves if they ever do anything right. Don’t get me wrong, I do encourage my kids and praise them for each success. But I also stay after them a lot, probably more than is needed. Honestly, I get tired of hearing me, so I am sure they do too.

I get like that too. I know I am not perfect. I know that we all need improvement and need to grow in the Lord. I am constantly reading books or Bible studies to help me grow in one area or another. I try to reflect on each sermon from my pastor to see if I am the person he is talking about instead of pointing fingers. There have been times that I have felt like there was so much about me that needed to be changed, that I honestly did not know where to start. That’s when I need encouragement. I need to remind myself that “I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I’m okay and I’m on my way” - Joyce Meyer. Do I always have to feel bad about myself to be a good Christian? No!

Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” There is a difference between condemnation and conviction. I don’t have to wallow in what I am doing wrong. I do need to be aware of it, pray about it, do what I can do and let God change me through His Holy Spirit. The Bible is full of encouragement as well as conviction and instruction. We need a balance of both. Sometimes the circumstances of life can be overwhelming. We need to know that God loves us, is rooting for us, and will not let us go. We need to know that we are not alone. We need to know that we have strengths and not just weaknesses.

So, I intend to pour on the encouragement for my children, my husband and whomever I see that may need it (even me). I am going to use not only correction from the Bible, “Do everything without arguing or complaining” but also encouragement, “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” Many scriptures even have both in the same sentence. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works(encouragement), which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them(instruction).”

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Jesus) John 16:33

Another Life Lesson From Learning to Ride a Bike

 In my last post, Sophie and I were running up and down the drive way. Actually she was riding her bike and I was the one running. Since I had just eaten and was getting tired, Steve decided to help. As Sophie grew more confident, we began to let her make single passes by herself from Steve to me and then back. He would stand a few feet from where I was, push her off to me, and I would catch her if she started to fall.

She was doing great but was easily distracted. She would look away if she saw Nathan throwing the football. She would look away if she saw a butterfly flying by. It didn’t take much to catch her attention. As soon as she would look away from whomever she was riding toward, she would get off balance and start to fall. “Don’t look away.” I would tell her. “Keep your eyes on me and you won’t fall.”

How many times when we are riding through life, do we take our eyes off Jesus and get “off balance”? It likely happens more than most of us would like to admit. We may be riding through life with the wind in our hair and because it’s smooth sailing, we take our eyes off Jesus. We think we are doing just fine on our own and begin to look away at other things. Busyness, comfort or sin begins to take precedent over Jesus and we begin to get off balance. Because of our wrong choices, we may get more than a bruise or scraped knee.

It’s also easy to get distracted by bad things in the world. Pain and evil are all around us. We see it on the news and in the paper. Sometimes in our own lives, the pain seems overwhelming. For some, it may be a loved one who is sick. For others, it may be their own sickness or a troubled marriage. It may be the loss of a job or difficulty with a child. Although life’s circumstances can be hard, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” We cannot run this race without Him as our focus. Don’t lose heart; keep your eyes on Jesus.