A Grateful Heart

8:10am.  That’s what time our kids are supposed to be ready to walk out the door in the mornings: shoes and jacket on.     

8:18 Nathan is sitting on the bench by the door putting on his shoes.  Sophie, having just come from her room asks if her shoes that are getting too small will rub off her new toenail polish. 

 “Probably.”

 She asks if she can change.

“Quickly.”

“Mom!” She yells. “I can’t find any socks!”

Walking through the house, “If you would straighten out your drawer, you could find some.”  I look in the drawer. I immediately find a pair…

Back to the garage entry door, I go. Waiting. Nathan is still putting on his shoes. I can feel myself getting tense, my heart-rate rising. “Be patient” I tell myself.  Tilting my head back, I take a deep breath.  There I see it, a gentle reminder.  Above the door opening hangs a sign I put up shortly after we moved into our house nearly five years ago. “Just Another Day in Paradise”. I smile and feel the tension fade away.

Yes, this is the life I wanted. It is the life I still cherish. These are the kids for whom I prayed. These are the children who consume my thoughts and my heart.  The children who love Jesus, say yes ma'am and no ma'am. The children who give me hugs every day.  So healthy they have not missed a single day of school this year.  So smart and diligent that they are both on the honor roll. And I am grateful.

As I look at the sign, “another day in paradise”. I think of my husband who kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me every morning before going to work. I’m grateful for him too. I prayed for a husband who would love and cherish me, who would work hard and be a family man. God answered that prayer too.

I think of this house in which the plaque hangs. The house I never thought would be ours. God, in his timing, delayed the sale of our old house in a declining neighborhood (robbed twice!) until the price of our current home met our budget.  The sale of old and purchase of new happened simultaneously. His timing was perfect. Now we live in a neighborhood where our kids have friends to play with and our neighbors are our friends and coworkers.  Again, an answered prayer and I am grateful.

It’s amazing how being grateful can change one’s perspective in an instant. How our hearts can beat to a different drum with the change of a thought. How our attitudes can improve when we are reminded or purposely remind ourselves how blessed we truly are.  I’m prompted of a quote my aunt used to say, “A complaining tongue reveals an ungrateful heart.”  May I always choose to be grateful.

My Girl

Just when I think I am getting the hang of this parenting thing, I’m thrown for a loop. It has always seemed that way. When I get used to my children doing one thing or being one way, they throw me a curveball. The end (or beginning) of a phase, stage or whatever you want to call it catches me off guard. I should be used to it by now, but I’m not.

Six months ago (to the day) when my daughter Sophie turned 8, she began showing her individualism and need for independence. She no longer wanted to wear the cute clothes from Matilda Jane and Jelly the Pug. The ruffly pant sets from Zulily are no more. “They look like they’re for babies.” Sigh… Every Sunday now when I pick out her clothes, she would rather wear something different. Not too long ago, she loved everything I bought for her. Not anymore.

It made me sad when she reluctantly told me she wasn’t crazy about “My Little Pony” anymore. I say “reluctantly” because she knew how I would feel. She and I used to love watching it together. I knew all those cute little ponies by name! She no longer plays with dolls except her “American Girl” dolls. No Barbies or princesses either. In fact, when cleaning out her toys, she decided to give most of them away.

I guess I thought we would go on enjoying these things together for years to come, but she has her own set of likes and dislikes, and I am learning that I cannot force her to stay little forever. I am realizing that she is developing into her own “person” and she no longer agrees with all my opinions. She has always been my little side-kick, so it’s tough to watch her separating herself from me. In my mind, I know it is a good thing. She is learning to be confident in her own thoughts and decisions. I know it’s not healthy to force my own personal tastes on her. She needs to be able to stretch her wings and not rely on me to make every decision for her. However, my heart hasn’t quite caught up yet.

She still shows that she needs me, though and wants to cuddle every night. So I am heeding the words of so many moms before me, I am making the most of these opportunities. She had a headache last night so I lay in bed with her and held her until she fell asleep. No matter how big or independent she gets, she will always be my baby. I’ll admit that the future of navigating through tween and teen years with my girl somewhat intimidates me. I want to hold on tight. God grant me the wisdom to know when to hold on and when to relinquish the reigns (and the ability to do so).

In My Daughter's Eyes

Like most moms, I have those days that I wish I could do over. Days when I was too moody, too tired or too busy. Unfortunately, some days it turns out to be all three and then some. Days when I snap at my kids and my nerves are frazzled. Days when nothing seems to go right...and the house is still a mess and my son tells me he has no clean pajamas.

Lately, at the end of days like these, I have found myself sneaking into my daughter's room, sitting on her bed and just watching her sleep. I love both of my children equally, with all my heart. But it's Sophie who always sees the good in me. She makes me want to be the person she thinks I am. At bedtime, she tells me I am the best mom because I am sweet and kind even when I know I wasn't just earlier in the day. She always has an encouraging word and a warm hug. I want to be the person she sees when she looks at me. I don't know how long this will last, but I will cherish it as long as it does!

This song is the perfect story of me and my little girl.

What a Happy Mama I Am!

Sophie in front of the "Tree of Life" at DW

What a happy Mama I am! Last Friday, November 29^th, our Sweet Sophie prayed to receive Jesus Christ

as her Lord and Savior. After she prayed, she could not stop smiling. The girl was absolutely full of joy. She said she had waited for this her whole life! She even wrote a note to Jesus telling him she loved him and how happy she was to be saved.

She had been talking about being saved for a few weeks, and she seemed to have a firm understanding of what it all meant. When she asked me when she could be saved, I told her that we could pray whenever she was ready.

I know Sophie is young at not quite 7 years old, but she is spiritually mature for her age. Every time someone asked her what she was thankful for at Thanksgiving, her first answer would be, “Jesus dying on the cross for our sins.” Every time. Even before she was saved, she talked about Jesus all the time, how much she loves Him, and she is truly excited about him. Last night, Steve saw her kneeling beside her bed praying all by herself. Normally, she prays with one of us, but now she is praying on her own without even being prompted. That just touched my heart. She is serious about this. It’s not just something she thought she should do because she had heard about it so much. She truly wants Jesus in her life.

I am so proud of her. I know God has great plans for her. I pray that her joy and enthusiasm for the Lord continues to grow and spread to those around her. Heaven knows that we could use some enthusiastic Christians in this world!

Laugh a Little (or a Lot)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

Proverbs 17:22

Our pastor sent us this adorable picture of Sophie that he took during VBS stating that “nothing is cuter than little girls when their giggle boxes get tipped over.” He’s right. I love to hear Sophie laugh. It’s infectious. And there is something about a group of little girls who have the giggles that is just contagious.

Oh how I wish I could laugh like that more often. I love getting together with friends and laughing. It just makes everything seem better, lighter. My thought about this picture was that I wish I could laugh like Sophie does. Sometimes I let stress and circumstances get the best of me. Sometimes I just need to take a break and share in my children’s laughter or take some time to be with friends who make me laugh and feel good. Notice I said, “take the time”. So often our busy schedules put those times on the back burner. But the busyness and stress of life is why we need to make time to be with friends and family. Sophie wasn’t laughing alone. I’m sure she had some little buddies laughing right along with her.

I know life has many difficulties, but that is why it is so important to find a way to be cheerful and laugh some during the day. Just thinking about the sad, bad and stressful stuff saps our strength. The Good News Translation puts the second half of Proverbs 17:22 this way. “It is a slow death to be gloomy all the time.” Hmm…a slow death. That’s what it can feel like when you are sad or perplexed all the time, right? So, take a break and share a laugh with someone. It’s like medicine without the icky taste. 

I dedicate this article to my father-in-law, Bob.  I wrote this last week not knowing that we would have to say goodbye to him today.   He was a man who loved to laugh, and he was a natural at making others laugh. He loved to have fun, but he was also caring and encouraging. It was hard to feel bad when he was around.  I only knew him for 11 years. I wish it could have been longer. We will surely miss him.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I recently uploaded my pictures from Christmas. Yes, it takes me a while. I found a picture I had forgotten about. It was a darling picture of Sophie and my nieces. As I looked at this picture, I saw such sweet innocence. Their cheerful smiles and bright eyes made me wish the younger four could stay this way forever. Too soon they will grow into preteens, teenagers and young women. Gabrielle, the oldest, has grown into a beautiful, bright young woman who loves the Lord.

When Sophie was four years old, I painted on her wall, in big, bold letters Psalm 139:14 “I will praise you because I am remarkably and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.” We recited it every night before bed. Since we have moved, she has asked me to paint it in her new room. I want her to know right from the start that God made her wonderful and beautiful, just the way she is.

I can't just talk about it though; I need to be a good example for her. I’m learning it takes an effort to live that out in front of her. I have to be careful not to let her see me fret about my weight or hair or skin. I want to teach her that taking care of herself is important because we are God’s temple and we are to honor him with our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19,20) We try to eat healthy, get exercise and dress appropriately as Christians.  No, I don't believe we have to be covered from head to toe, but we are to dress modestly. (1 Timothy 2:9) I  want her to have enough respect for herself and feel good enough about herself that when she is older, she doesn't feel the need to dress in a way that would draw negative attention and take focus off of who she really is on the inside. We like cute clothes and painting our toenails, but we don’t over-emphasize our outer beauty because God looks on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) 1 Peter 3: 3-4 says “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within...” I want our girls to know that they are beautiful because God loves them and made them special. They don’t have to look like anyone else but who they are.

Just like moms, dads play such an important role in their daughters’ lives. If a Daddy loves his little girl and is affectionate toward her and actively protects and cares for her, his daughter will feel like she is worth being treated with love and respect. Not only that, but if our daughters see Dad treat Mom in a loving and respectful way, she will know how her potential suitors should treat her. Daddies should be careful not to demean women or make crude comments about women. Our daughters are watching and listening.

Sophie has such a sweet nature and a compassionate heart. Our prayer is that she would be sheltered by our love and more importantly by God’s love so that the world around her doesn’t steel that from her. So that she knows she has a place where she is accepted and loved no matter what. A place where she can bare her soul and not be condemned. A place where she can make mistakes and be forgiven. A place where she can grow and learn with all the support we can give her. A place where she is free to sing and dance like no one is watching, even when we are.

Sophie and all of my nieces are unique and wonderful, just the way God made them. My prayer is that they are growing up with confidence in who God made them to be. As we encourage our daughters’ strengths, assist them through their weaknesses (without criticizing) and teach them about God’s love for them, they will know who they are. They are not just our princesses; they are princesses of the Most High King.