Trust Trumps Timidity

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 

2 Timothy 1:7.

When Nathan was younger he loved to sing in front of the church with his Cherub Choir. He always had to be square in front of the microphone, and if he wasn’t, he’d inch his way over so that he could be. Nathan was never a shy baby or toddler. He loved the spotlight. As he has gotten older, he has become very nervous about being in front of people. Not only that, but the little boy who never met a stranger has become too nervous to introduce himself to kids he doesn’t know. I never saw that coming.

Sophie was an extremely shy baby but grew out of that into a socially happy child who loves to meet new friends. She also loves to sing with her choir and recently did a terrific job with her first solo part. However, when she discovered that she had actually done a solo (she thought that since the other kids were standing with her, it wasn’t a solo) she said she was too nervous to do it again.

I know the agony of letting fear rule my heart through nervousness. Unlike Nathan and Sophie who are nervous because people are watching, my fear was what people would think or that I would mess up. It happened a lot in school and kept me from doing things I would have enjoyed, like chorus or trying out for sports. I didn’t want anyone to see me mess up.

I don’t want that for my children. My heart breaks to think that they hold back from doing things they are really good at and enjoy because they are too nervous. However, when I try to encourage them, I hear a little voice saying that I should be listening to my own words. I have come a long way, but I still have a ways to go. I play the comparison game and am afraid others will do the same. When I recently sang my first solo part in front of our church during our Easter musical, I dreaded it for weeks. I was so afraid of what people would think. What if I messed up? What if I sounded awful?  One day when I was thinking those things, I felt Jesus whisper to me, "If you really believe the words, then sing it to me and don't worry about everyone else."  That brought me peace. It didn't take away the nervousness completely, but I knew he was with me.

Our motto last week in VBS is “Facing Fear, Trusting God.” I pray that this was ingrained in my children to help them overcome their fears of being in front of people. I know God has gifted them with talents, and I don’t want them to be too afraid to use them. I also know that I need to be a good example to my children and face my own fears, trusting God to see me through. I don’t want Nathan and Sophie to be prideful, but I want them to trust God and not let fear paralyze them and hold them back. That’s not God’s desire for them. According to 2 Timothy 1:7, fear and timidity doesn’t come from him, but power, love and sound judgment does. God is helping me to overcome my fears. He is giving me confidence. Not in my own abilities but in what he is doing in me and wants to do through me. I pray that he does the same for Nathan and Sophie, only much, much earlier.