Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I recently uploaded my pictures from Christmas. Yes, it takes me a while. I found a picture I had forgotten about. It was a darling picture of Sophie and my nieces. As I looked at this picture, I saw such sweet innocence. Their cheerful smiles and bright eyes made me wish the younger four could stay this way forever. Too soon they will grow into preteens, teenagers and young women. Gabrielle, the oldest, has grown into a beautiful, bright young woman who loves the Lord.

When Sophie was four years old, I painted on her wall, in big, bold letters Psalm 139:14 “I will praise you because I am remarkably and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.” We recited it every night before bed. Since we have moved, she has asked me to paint it in her new room. I want her to know right from the start that God made her wonderful and beautiful, just the way she is.

I can't just talk about it though; I need to be a good example for her. I’m learning it takes an effort to live that out in front of her. I have to be careful not to let her see me fret about my weight or hair or skin. I want to teach her that taking care of herself is important because we are God’s temple and we are to honor him with our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19,20) We try to eat healthy, get exercise and dress appropriately as Christians.  No, I don't believe we have to be covered from head to toe, but we are to dress modestly. (1 Timothy 2:9) I  want her to have enough respect for herself and feel good enough about herself that when she is older, she doesn't feel the need to dress in a way that would draw negative attention and take focus off of who she really is on the inside. We like cute clothes and painting our toenails, but we don’t over-emphasize our outer beauty because God looks on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) 1 Peter 3: 3-4 says “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within...” I want our girls to know that they are beautiful because God loves them and made them special. They don’t have to look like anyone else but who they are.

Just like moms, dads play such an important role in their daughters’ lives. If a Daddy loves his little girl and is affectionate toward her and actively protects and cares for her, his daughter will feel like she is worth being treated with love and respect. Not only that, but if our daughters see Dad treat Mom in a loving and respectful way, she will know how her potential suitors should treat her. Daddies should be careful not to demean women or make crude comments about women. Our daughters are watching and listening.

Sophie has such a sweet nature and a compassionate heart. Our prayer is that she would be sheltered by our love and more importantly by God’s love so that the world around her doesn’t steel that from her. So that she knows she has a place where she is accepted and loved no matter what. A place where she can bare her soul and not be condemned. A place where she can make mistakes and be forgiven. A place where she can grow and learn with all the support we can give her. A place where she is free to sing and dance like no one is watching, even when we are.

Sophie and all of my nieces are unique and wonderful, just the way God made them. My prayer is that they are growing up with confidence in who God made them to be. As we encourage our daughters’ strengths, assist them through their weaknesses (without criticizing) and teach them about God’s love for them, they will know who they are. They are not just our princesses; they are princesses of the Most High King. 

Enjoying the Present

In the past two months we have celebrated birthdays for both of our children. I cannot believe that my baby is 6 and my first born is 8. Sometimes it seems like they have always been with us. Other times it seems like just yesterday they were babies. They should still be about 3 and 5. Where did the time go?!

So much has changed in the eight years since I became a mom. My whole world turned upside down and inside out the day Nathan was born. I look back now at how exhausting and challenging those early days were with two little ones only 22 months apart, and I wish I could have them back. Isn’t that funny? I miss watching Baby Einstein and Little Einsteins with them. I miss holding them in my arms (without hurting my back) and having them toddling around my feet.

So, on Nathan’s birthday, April 1^st, I was reminded of a recent devotion from our student minister during a family night at church. He encouraged us not to dwell on the past but to embrace the present. This really helped me to put my thoughts into perspective. I can dwell on the desire to have my children be babies and toddlers again (and be sad) or I can celebrate the ages they are right now. Wishing they were babies again is futile. It accomplishes nothing. Enjoying them at 6 and 8 accomplishes much.

Yes, it’s perfectly okay to reminisce over sweet memories, but they shouldn’t make us sad and long for the past. They should make us eager to make every moment count. Knowing that the days go by so fast should be reason enough for us to embrace every moment. Ephesians 5:15-16 says “Be very careful then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” So I pray that God will help me to make the most of the opportunities that I have with my children now…for tomorrow, they will be grown.

Field Trips, Mercy and Grace

Field trips. Got to love em. Well at least the kids do. After a very crazy day of chaperoning a recent field trip with my children and half of their school, we all three crashed on the couch exhausted. As Sophie worked with the remote to find a show to watch, she had to give it to me to get it where it needed to be. It’s one of those universal remotes that even I can’t figure out sometimes. As she lay down beside me, she asked, “Why can’t I do things right?” Thinking she was frustrated with the remote, I asked her what she meant. “Why can’t I listen?” she asked.

Okay, now let me back up. On the way back to the school from the field trip, we were talking about what we had to do after school. She was fussing and complaining because she couldn’t do certain things she wanted to do. Even after I explained to her why she couldn’t, she kept on. Now I knew she was tired so I was patient with her. Finally after I had heard enough, I told her she was being ungrateful. I had just spent the whole day with her on her field trip, and it was all about her having fun. After thinking for a while, she told me she was sorry for acting that way.

Then at a store, she whined and complained again because she couldn’t get a game she wanted. Even after I explained why, she kept on. Don’t you love that? Me neither.

When we got in the car, she began to cry and said she was sorry. So when she asked me at home why she wasn’t able to listen, I knew she had really been thinking about it. I knew she didn’t need a lecture. What she needed was the truth spoken in love, and she needed grace.

I couldn’t help but sympathize with her. I too wonder and ask God sometimes, “Why can’t I get it right?” After trying and trying to improve on things and going round and round in circles, I feel defeated too. Do you know what my Father gives me? Truth and grace. God knows my heart. I may not always get everything right, but He still loves me anyway. I felt like that is what Sophie needed to know. That I love her even when she messes up… over and over again. The fact that she is trying and wants to change makes me more willing to show her mercy. God also knows when we really desire to obey Him and live according to His word. Thankfully, He shows mercy upon mercy to me too.

“The Lord God has told us what is right and what He demands: “See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God.” Micah 6: 8

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 22,23