Innocent Hearts

Most of us think our children are innocent. Don’t we? Of course we do, because they are! When they are young, they see things through innocent eyes and pure hearts. While at our family gathering at my mom and dad’s house on Christmas, Sophie was playing with her new Princess Ariel and Prince Erik Barbie dolls. She had them close together as if they were hugging or dancing. She has seen this on princess movies like Cinderella where Cinderella and her prince dance at the ball. She also sees her Dad and me hug a lot.

Our entire family of about 25 was sitting around my parents’ den talking and checking out each other’s Christmas gifts. I watched Sophie as she played. After she laid the dolls down, I asked her if they were dancing? Nathan heard me and said very loudly, “It looks like they are dancing lying down!” All of the adults burst into laughter including myself. The innocence of his comment was what made it so funny. He had no idea why we were laughing.

I love that about my children. They are still so innocent. That hasn’t happened by chance though. There is enough out there in this world to steal their innocence even at their young ages. Steve and I purposely work to keep that from happening. We monitor what they see on television, they only play educational and age appropriate video games and we only listen to Christian radio. They never watch movies with anything above a PG rating. Even then, we pay close attention to the contents to make sure it is OK. Those magazines at the check-out lines with headlines that make even me blush get turned around quickly to shield Nathan and Sophie from reading the vulgar content on them.

I’m not bragging by any means. I’m just learning more and more that it takes a concerted effort on a parent’s part to protect their children from indecency or things that are too mature for little minds and hearts to understand. I love a quote from Corrie Ten Boom’s book, The Hiding Place.  When she was still quite young, Corrie asked her father about something he didn’t think she was ready to know.  This was his wise response:

“It would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a heavy load. [speaking of his tool case] It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”

Oh, how much wisdom did this man have! We need to preserve our children’s innocence as long as we can. They should be able to just enjoy the innocence of childhood. They will learn the troubles of adulthood and the perverseness and violence of the world soon enough.

Put the Guilt on Pause

Christmas Morning Fun!!!

More often than not, I have mommy guilt. Guilt when I make one of my children cry even though they deserved the correction. Guilt when I raise my voice. Guilt because I forgot to send lunch money or that we haven’t worked on scripture memorization in weeks. Guilt, guilt, guilt. And of course, there is the concern that none of the things I am teaching them is actually doing any good.

Then those sacred moments happen that let me know Steve and I must be doing something right. That all those lessons and talks have actually touched their hearts and deep down are actually taking root. Moments that remind us that we really do have great kids.

This Christmas had been quite an unusual Christmas. My sweet aunt Bertha that I wrote about in “I want to Leave a Legacy” went home to be with the Lord Dec. 22. I left the kids to be at the hospital several times during the week prior to her death. On the same day, my brother-in-law’s dad also went home to be with the Lord. We attended both funerals on Christmas Eve. Not exactly the joyous Christmas any of us would have chosen.

Even in the midst of the sadness, Christmas morning rolled around with the usual excitement and joy. It was the day Sophie and Nathan had been counting down to. I could hear their anxious laughter through Nathan’s bedroom door as I made them wait until all the Christmas lights were on and their Dad finally made it into the family room. (They were up at 6:30) After they had each opened their three presents from Santa, they did not even ask to open their other presents that were under the tree. They excitedly ran and grabbed Steve’s present and mine and insisted we open our presents first.

Wow, what five and seven year old does that? I was so proud of them that they cared more about our happiness than their own. They wanted us to see what we got for Christmas before they did. They were so sweet. I have to say, I was amazed. Perhaps all the talks of “giving is better than receiving,” and “think of others first” have actually had an impact. They truly practiced these Biblical principles that morning.

So, instead of feeling guilty all the time about something that we have done wrong with our children, it is really okay to look at the things we do right. We can breathe a sigh of relief (at least for the moment) that God is using us to positively impact our precious children.

Grace, Grace and More Grace

This morning was a tough morning. I lost it with my precious daughter. I got angry because she had lost something…again. We were already pushed for time for school and we couldn’t find her watch. Today was Neon Day at school and her bright pink watch would have been a perfect accessory (and of course I had this idea at the last minute). It was nowhere to be found.

Sophie is a free spirit and often misplaces her things. She will put them in purses, backpacks, under a pillow or her bed, any place except for where they are supposed to go. I lost it. I fussed at her about a silly little watch. It wasn’t so much the watch as the fact that we are constantly looking for something she has lost.

However this was no excuse for losing it with her and making her feel 2 inches tall. I hated myself this morning. As I walked into the bathroom and saw her crying but at the same time trying to hold it back, my heart sank. Why did I do that? Why did I go off on her like that? I held her while she sobbed and told her I was sorry. My ranting had hurt her deeply. I asked her to forgive me and she kissed me on the cheek. She showed me more grace than I had shown her.

She is such a sweetheart that when I bought that half-priced pink watch, she gave her green one to a boy at school that wanted one. She is so thoughtful. She is always thinking of me. Everyday she brings me something from school that she has made for me. At church, everything she colors or makes is for me. If she makes something for her daddy, it’s for Daddy…and Mommy. She loves me so much. Why had I broken her heart over a $5.00 watch?

You can imagine that on the way to work, I beat myself up mercilessly. “I’m a terrible mom.” I kept saying to myself. Then when I got to work, the email devotion I received this morning from “Girlfriends in God” was about this very same thing. In fact, the first line from the author read, “I’m a terrible mom!” Tears streamed down my face. This woman that God uses to touch the lives of thousands of women was telling about her "crazy person" moment when she too had lost her cool with her child. Once again, God was gracious to me. He gave me the exact encouragement I needed exactly when I needed it. He was not the one condemning me. He wanted to help me.

I don’t have to believe the lies of Satan. I really messed up this morning. I sinned against my baby girl with uncontrolled anger. But that doesn’t mean I am a terrible mom and that I will always do stuff like this. God is changing me from glory to glory.(2 Corinthians 3:18) 

My meditation verse for now is Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Obviously, I’m not there yet. I’m learning it’s a process, and I know that I can’t do it without the help of the Holy Spirit.

So fill me Holy Spirit and help me to keep my mouth shut until my emotions are calm and controlled. Amen

Sophie and I at the Cabbage Patch Hospital in Cleveland, GA

(Actual event occurred Friday, October 26^th, and by the way, I found the watch while cleaning out the van a week later. It was under her seat.)

Trust and Obey

“Don’t look at me like that when I tell you to do something.” Lately, every time I tell Nathan to do something that he doesn’t want to do, he gives me a look. If you are a parent, you probably know what I am talking about, that combined look of disappointment, frustration and a touch of anger. He also gives the same look when I correct him about something. Usually, it concerns him being nice to Sophie.

I allowed the look for a little while. I don’t want my children to think that I want to completely control their lives. I also don’t want them to stuff or bury emotions or tell them how they should feel. However, I do want to train them to live by the Word of God, which says we should do everything without complaining or arguing (Philippians 2:14). Apparently, Nathan has learned not to do either of those verbally, so he gives me “the look”.

I do insist on Nathan and Sophie being respectful, and this look was beginning to become disrespectful. Most of the time, it comes when he forgets (or gets side-tracked) and doesn’t do something I have already told him to do. He doesn’t like having to stop what he wants to do and do what I have told him to do. So I had a talk with Nathan about his new facial expressions. I told him that I never ask too much of him or tell him to do something that he is not able to do. I felt like the look he was giving me showed disrespect, and I wanted him to stop. He straightened out his face, and sighed, “Okay”.

It got me thinking. I wonder if God feels disrespected and dishonored when I get side-tracked instead of obeying him immediately. Does he feel disrespected when I obey but do it with far less than a happy heart? Through Nathan (and one of our recent Sunday school lessons), I am beginning to see this as a possible lack of respect for authority and/or perhaps a lack of trust. Nathan needs to show more respect for my authority as his parent by trusting that I know more than he does and am giving him instruction because he needs it. Am I showing a lack of respect for God’s authority as my Heavenly Father, God of gods and Lord of lords when I don’t obey him immediately with the right attitude? Do I trust that He has my best interest at heart? If I know His word, His character and His heart, I won’t have a difficult time trusting him or giving him the utmost respect He deserves. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey."

This was written about 3 months ago. I’m happy to report that I have not received any dirty looks since then (at least not to my face).

Christmas Peace

I just love Christmas! Sitting here listening to Christmas music just makes me giddy. I have vowed this year not to stress out about Christmas. Easier said than done, right? Maybe not. I am going to choose not to need everything perfect.

I already have all the Christmas decorations out. I tell myself I am done, and I hope I stick to that. Our kids have been so excited ever since we started talking about decorating for Christmas. They have been bouncing off the walls! They love everything about Christmas, not just the presents. In fact, they have not asked for much at all. They are just happy, happy, happy. Yesterday afternoon I decided to take pictures for our Christmas cards. I have to admit there have been a couple of years that I stressed out because I couldn’t get them to smile like I wanted them to or stay where I put them. Oh how silly that sounds to me now to expect two small, energetic children (or a puppy) to pose exactly the way I had it pictured in my mind.

This year the picture taking started out almost the same way. We had to get the pictures done before the sun went down too much to have enough light. Sophie especially, was being very silly and giggly. I was getting irritated again because I didn’t think she was cooperating. Then it dawned on me, this IS the way they are. If I want people who haven’t seen my kids lately to know them better, why not capture them the way they are? Silly and genuinely happy, not forced. So that’s what we did. See the pictures for yourself.

I’m taking a hint from Nathan and Sophie this year. I want to enjoy Christmas for Christmas. Admittedly, I have had to catch myself when I started to stress about lights or ornaments this year; I don’t want to stress about schedules and decorations, gifts and get-togethers…or pictures. I have decided to focus on Jesus, family and friends, giving to others and just enjoying the season that will be gone in a few weeks. Thanks to a lesson from my children and a 5 Day Christmas Challenge from Karen Ehman (Proverbs 31 Ministries), this Christmas, I don’t have to be in control of everything! And it actually feels pretty good.

Merry Peace and Joy filled Christmas!

I Want to Leave a Legacy

Today's post is not necessarily about what I have learned through my children, but rather what I want them to learn through me.   Today I spent most of the day at my parents' home enjoying their company and eating a wonderful Thanksgiving feast. It was so nice to have most of our family together laughing and enjoying the beautiful day. The only ones missing were my sister Charlene and her family.    
My aunt Bertha and Uncle Jimmie were there as well.  My aunt has had some very difficult health issues.  Issues that have taken their toll on her body and her abilities.  Even through her difficulties, she is still encouraging to others.  She still talks about Jesus like he is her best friend, because he is.  She speaks with a weaker voice, but her faith is still just as strong as ever.  She talks about God with the love and adoration of an admiring daughter, and her trust in Him has not wavered.  She still has that contagious joy and that sweet spirit that has always drawn everyone to her. 
My aunt Bertha didn't get to raise her own children.  All three died shortly after birth.  However she is like the woman the Bible speaks of who had no children of her own but was blessed with more than a woman who did.  She has touched so many lives with her faith, joy and love for others. She has taught me so much about God and the Bible.  She has influenced so many people that have grown up around her; she has many spiritual children that share in her legacy.  I want to be like her when I grow up.
That's what I want for my children.  I want to leave such a legacy of faith.  I want them to see my love for God doesn't change when trouble comes.  I want to have the Godly character and exude the fruit of the spirit so that they can see Jesus in me.  (God and I are still working on some of those). Thirty years from now when they are my age, I don't want them passing down negative characteristics or habits that they learned from me to their children.  I want them to carry on the legacy of faith and a love for God and His word that makes their influence on their children positive and good.
There are so many things that we can pass down to our children: habits, a sense of style, athletic ability,  interests, or skills, but the most important thing that we as parents pass down to our children is a passionate love for Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful for the Godly women who set an example before me.  My own mother, my granny and my aunt have sown seeds in me that I hope will continue to grow and be replanted in my own children and others around me.

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Deuteronomy 6:7

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

Let Them Live

24 weeks-considered viable

As I hugged my children this morning, I hugged them tighter and a little longer than I usually do on a busy school morning. I held them longer for all the babies who will never have the opportunity to have a mother hug them. I held them close in honor of all the babies who will not be allowed to live over the next four years.

You see, yesterday, over half the voters in our beloved United States of America voted to put back into office the most radical pro-abortion president we have ever had. A president with one of the most prominent points of his democratic platform being to provide abortion on demand right up until the time of birth. A president who voted 4 times while in the Senate to prevent babies who survived an abortion from receiving medical care. He would rather they be discarded and left to die. How sad it is that the people of our country care so little about a child’s life.

Some voters don’t know the president’s extreme policy on abortion. That’s no excuse. If they cared about life and preventing abortions, they could check his policies and past voting records to find the truth. Some voters just don’t care. They chose to vote for him despite knowing and believing that abortion is wrong and simply turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the truth. Then of course there are those who actually agree with his abortion agenda.

I’m not sure which of these three is worse. I can say, however, to a baby that is being destroyed, it doesn’t matter. To a child that has great potential but isn’t allowed the decency of even being born, what difference does it make? My heart is broken this morning. My heart breaks for all the children across this land who are mere pawns in a political war. Instead of being seen as innocent human beings with beating hearts and sweet souls, they are seen as a plague to be rid of or trash to be thrown out.

What a sad, sad day it is. So today, despite my disappointment in the American people, I am more thankful than ever for my children. I want to hold them and never let go. I’m so thankful that my mother, a mother of 5, chose life. I am thankful that abortion never entered her mind or mine. I am thankful for all the women and men who work tirelessly, even now, to save the lives of preborn children.  We will have to work even harder now. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice. ” Proverbs 31:8,9

We will have to pray even more now that God would move on the hearts of women to love their babies so much that they will do whatever it takes to protect them and give them life. That He will move on the hearts of lawmakers and judges to protect the lives of unborn children. When my children ask me what my “Pro-Life" T-shirt means, I simply tell them that I am for life and I believe every child deserves the chance to live.

Do you?