Be of Good Cheer

Have you ever just needed some encouragement? Life gets hard. Sometimes, really hard. Sometimes, things just pile up. Sometimes, you get tired of hearing about everything you are doing wrong and how you need to change this or that.

As I was chiding my children the other night for not doing something I told them to do, I felt like a broken record. I caught myself thinking, I wonder if they ask themselves if they ever do anything right. Don’t get me wrong, I do encourage my kids and praise them for each success. But I also stay after them a lot, probably more than is needed. Honestly, I get tired of hearing me, so I am sure they do too.

I get like that too. I know I am not perfect. I know that we all need improvement and need to grow in the Lord. I am constantly reading books or Bible studies to help me grow in one area or another. I try to reflect on each sermon from my pastor to see if I am the person he is talking about instead of pointing fingers. There have been times that I have felt like there was so much about me that needed to be changed, that I honestly did not know where to start. That’s when I need encouragement. I need to remind myself that “I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I’m okay and I’m on my way” - Joyce Meyer. Do I always have to feel bad about myself to be a good Christian? No!

Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” There is a difference between condemnation and conviction. I don’t have to wallow in what I am doing wrong. I do need to be aware of it, pray about it, do what I can do and let God change me through His Holy Spirit. The Bible is full of encouragement as well as conviction and instruction. We need a balance of both. Sometimes the circumstances of life can be overwhelming. We need to know that God loves us, is rooting for us, and will not let us go. We need to know that we are not alone. We need to know that we have strengths and not just weaknesses.

So, I intend to pour on the encouragement for my children, my husband and whomever I see that may need it (even me). I am going to use not only correction from the Bible, “Do everything without arguing or complaining” but also encouragement, “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” Many scriptures even have both in the same sentence. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works(encouragement), which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them(instruction).”

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Jesus) John 16:33

Another Life Lesson From Learning to Ride a Bike

 In my last post, Sophie and I were running up and down the drive way. Actually she was riding her bike and I was the one running. Since I had just eaten and was getting tired, Steve decided to help. As Sophie grew more confident, we began to let her make single passes by herself from Steve to me and then back. He would stand a few feet from where I was, push her off to me, and I would catch her if she started to fall.

She was doing great but was easily distracted. She would look away if she saw Nathan throwing the football. She would look away if she saw a butterfly flying by. It didn’t take much to catch her attention. As soon as she would look away from whomever she was riding toward, she would get off balance and start to fall. “Don’t look away.” I would tell her. “Keep your eyes on me and you won’t fall.”

How many times when we are riding through life, do we take our eyes off Jesus and get “off balance”? It likely happens more than most of us would like to admit. We may be riding through life with the wind in our hair and because it’s smooth sailing, we take our eyes off Jesus. We think we are doing just fine on our own and begin to look away at other things. Busyness, comfort or sin begins to take precedent over Jesus and we begin to get off balance. Because of our wrong choices, we may get more than a bruise or scraped knee.

It’s also easy to get distracted by bad things in the world. Pain and evil are all around us. We see it on the news and in the paper. Sometimes in our own lives, the pain seems overwhelming. For some, it may be a loved one who is sick. For others, it may be their own sickness or a troubled marriage. It may be the loss of a job or difficulty with a child. Although life’s circumstances can be hard, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” We cannot run this race without Him as our focus. Don’t lose heart; keep your eyes on Jesus.

No Fear

It has been a very rainy summer this year in South Georgia, inches after inches, week after week. Our grass is soft and thick like the plushest carpet. This combined with a slight slope in our front yard makes the perfect path for learning to ride a bike. One day, out of the blue, Sophie decided she was ready to ride her bike without training wheels.

So we made run after run down the grassy slope with me holding on to the seat and running behind her. She was so proud of herself when I let go and she did it on her own. We continued until it started raining again and retreated inside. Two days later we were outside playing after supper. Sophie wanted to practice again. This time she wanted to ride on the drive way. So here we went again. Pass after pass, one direction and then the other. It doesn’t take much bending over a little bicycle and running back and forth after eating pizza and hot wings to get winded. Several times I suggested she go over to the grass and try by herself. “It’s soft; you won’t get hurt.”

“I’m too scared,” she’d say. So we kept going. Finally after I could no longer run with her, I told her again to go try on the grass. Again she said, “I’m too scared.”

“Why are you scared? You did it just two days ago, and you did great.”

“Well you were right there with me” she proclaimed. She knew when I was running alongside her that I wouldn’t let her fall. Even though the grass was soft and wouldn’t hurt her, she wanted to know I was there with her.

Sounds like a life lesson to me. How often do we as Christians try to deal with the trials of life without realizing that our Heavenly Father is there with us? We flounder around trying to deal with things on our own when God is right there with us. We often allow fear to seize us and keep us from doing the things God has called us to do. I love the way the Amplified Bible translates Hebrews 13:5 “He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (^[relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]” Wow, what a promise! But that’s not all; verse 6 goes on to tell us how we should respond to that promise. “So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified].” When we realize that God is with us and will never let go of us, we can face life’s challenges without fear.

Sophie will eventually learn to ride her bike without my help and without fear of falling. Thankfully, as God’s children, we will never have to ride life’s stormy seas alone. God is always right there with us, and He will not let us fall. That’s a promise.

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

I don’t like to stereotype. Whether it is race, location (i.e. southern doesn’t equal redneck) or gender, not everyone fits into the same mold. However, you can’t deny the fact that the majority of boys and girls have certain traits in common with their unique gender.

The other day, I saw it yet again. Steve had taken off work and he and the kids brought breakfast to me at work. As they all filed into my office, Nathan immediately spotted a picture hanging on my wall. It was a photo of Steve and me and two other couples dressed up at the Captain’s dinner on a Bahamas’ cruise. Our boss had taken the entire company as a way to celebrate the company’s 25^th anniversary. A coworker had recently printed it out and brought it to me as a joke so I taped it to my wall. After I had answered several questions about it, Nathan said in a matter of fact way, “You looked younger then.” Thanks, Nathan…it was 10 years ago!

Kids…Boys…little boys… They say whatever comes to mind. Now my daughter didn’t really notice the picture, but I have an idea of what she would have said. “Mommy, you looked beautiful.” Sophie always tries to make people feel good. She tells me all the time how pretty she thinks I am or how much she loves me. She’s always hugging and kissing her family. She is very affectionate, compassionate and thoughtful.

Nathan is very literal and straight forward. He doesn’t seem to notice people as much as he notices facts. He cares about the outcome of things. Sophie cares about feelings. They are so different. Perhaps it’s just personality differences. Maybe it has a lot to do with their gender. I’m sure it’s a combination.

I think that is where a lot of parents automatically think their growing boys don’t need as much affectionate displays of love, but in his own way, Nathan still lets me know that he does. When I sit on the sofa beside him, he will snuggle up close without saying a word. When we get out of our van, he automatically grabs my hand. When he started kindergarten, I would walk him to class every day. When I gave him a hug and kiss, he would just stand there almost like a statue. It seemed like he didn’t care but endured it for my benefit. One day, while standing in front of his classroom door, I was talking to his teacher. He just stood there beside me instead of running to play with his friends. When I asked him what was the matter, he said quietly, “You haven’t kissed me yet.” I was a little surprised. He needed a kiss as much as I needed to give him one. Then toward the end of that year, he asked me to kiss him when he got out of the van instead of inside the school. Apparently, he didn’t want his friends to see. (That started younger than I anticipated.)

I have to look for it with him more than I do with Sophie, but it’s there, the longing to feel his mom’s touch and to know that he is still my little man. Boys will be boys. They may act like they don’t need or even want our hugs and kisses, but deep down, they do. So lay it on ‘em! (Maybe just not in front of their friends)

Listen Up!

This school year I determined things were going to be different. No more rushed and frustrated mornings. No more nagging, no more raised voices, no more tears. Surely if I had plenty of time to get everything done without rushing, our mornings would be so much better.

Although I get up earlier now and there is no rushing on my part, our two little ones don’t know the meaning of staying on task. You would think by now in the second grade that at least Nathan would know the drill. Today it seemed all I did was stay on top of them to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush your hair, brush your teeth, feed the dog. I was beginning to get aggravating with them for not doing what they were supposed to do.

Sophie does not like to eat a big breakfast. I understand that. She eats well at lunch and supper, so I try not to make a big deal out of it as long as she eats something. This morning she said she didn’t feel good. This was nothing out of the ordinary because she often says that when she doesn’t want to do something. However, since I was packing snacks and lunches, I didn’t necessarily pay attention to how she was acting. If I had, I would have noticed that she was not her normal bubbly self. I would have noticed her quietness. I didn’t. I made her eat one little sausage biscuit and one strawberry because I figured she would be hungry again before snack-time. After much pushing to get her to finish, she began to cry.

Of course, this was not what I wanted our mornings to be like. I didn’t want to make her cry before I had to leave her for the day. Here we go again. I thought I had done everything right by making sure I was not hurried. By being so determined to stay on task, I had failed to pay attention to my daughter. I mean really pay attention. When she brushed her teeth, she gagged and threw up. While holding her hair back, I began to process the morning. She had coughed some at breakfast, and I didn’t realize then that she had sinus drainage which was making her tummy feel bad. So when she brushed her teeth, all the breakfast I made her eat was gone.

If I had only listened to her and evaluated her demeanor, I would have been more compassionate, and I would have never made her cry by forcing her to eat when she didn’t feel like it. I was too busy thinking that she was just trying to get out of eating to really listen to her. I’m learning that listening to my children is not just hearing, but seeing and evaluating. Things aren’t always what I think they are. I need to give my children the benefit of the doubt. Proverbs calls someone who doesn’t listen a fool.

“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” Proverbs 18:13

“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.” Proverbs 12:15

Ouch. I don’t want to be a fool. I vow to listen with my ears, my eyes and my heart.

Be Still and Know

“Be still and know that I am God”  This verse came to me through an email today at just the right time.  God is so kind to give us the encouragement we need just when we need it. 
My sweet baby girl started kindergarten.  It was easier for her than for me.  As I watched her this morning in her new classroom, I saw my little baby, not a 5 year old.  Being a stay-at-home mom, she has been with me almost all the time. Even after I went back to work and she started preschool, I was still able to spend the afternoons with her since both of us got out at noon. I’m not ready to let go. 
At the same time, my dad had to travel over 4 hours away to see a neurologist at a medical university to have tests run.  The local neurologist referred him because he has all the signs of Lou Gehrig’s disease.  He struggled for over a year with symptoms and saw several doctors before they were even able to give a probable diagnosis.  Then he had to wait 21/2 months to see this specialist.  It has been so difficult to see him succumb to this awful disease.  I wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t because it was Nathan and Sophie’s first day of school.  Even though my brother and my mom were there, I wanted to be there too. 
As I sat at work this morning I felt misplaced and almost useless.  I wanted to know how Sophie and Nathan were doing. I wished I could stay with Sophie to make sure she was ok.  To calm any fears and help her with a new task.  I wanted to be with my dad and mom.  To be there to lend moral support and to get answers to the many questions we have about Daddy’s condition and treatment options.  Instead I was sitting at my desk with so many thoughts running through my mind and so many emotions reeking havoc on my heart.  Then I saw those words, “Be still and know that I am God.” 
God reminded me that even though I can’t always take care of everyone all the time, He can.  He was at school with Sophie and Nathan.  He was in Augusta with my parents.  And He was with me in my office.  Having children (and being one) comes with many, many changes, emotional ups and downs and if we don’t trust God, many worries.  God reminded me today to rest in Him and simply trust Him.  Zephaniah 3:17 has become one of my favorite verses.  “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over your with singing.”  How many times as a mom have I needed God to quiet my heart and mind with His love?  I’ve learned that it is more than I can count.

Remember

There is a longing that God places in the heart of most women to have children. It’s a great way to insure repopulating the earth! When a woman wants a baby, she will go to great lengths to make it happen. It can become an obsession weighing on her heart and mind all day, every day when conception takes longer than she anticipated. I have been there. I have had friends and family who have been there. There is something about the desire for a child that can consume us.

Then, after months or even years of trying, they arrive… Sometimes it’s everything we imagined. Often times it’s not. Being a mom is often much, much harder than we ever realized it would be. But the love in our hearts is also more powerful than we ever knew it could be. It’s true. You can never describe to someone who isn’t a parent what it’s like to love your child. Nor can you ever experience that kind of love until you have one of your own. It’s impossible to understand until you are holding your precious baby in your arms. Day after day, week after week, the love grows. I remember when my babies were brand new. I would think that I couldn’t love them any more than I already did. Then a week later, the love had grown even deeper. It didn’t seem possible, but somehow it was. The more I got to know them and the more we interacted with each other, the fuller my heart became.

Sometimes when my kids are driving me crazy, it helps me to think about that. How I longed for children for years before they came. What was I thinking?! Of course, I’m just kidding. I don’t know what I would ever do without them now. Sometimes I look at them and still see a sweet chubby face of a 1 year old. My, they are growing up so fast.

I know not every child is planned. Sometimes, they are a sweet or perhaps shocking surprise. Either way, every child is special, and the Bible tells us children are a Gift from God. We would do ourselves and our children well to remember that fact, even when our nerves are frazzled. Or should I say especially when our nerves are frazzled. I’ve learned through 7 years of being a mom that no matter how much my kids make we want to scream or cry (admittedly I have done both), there is nothing they could ever do to make me stop loving them. I think I’ll give my mom a call…