Listen Up!

This school year I determined things were going to be different. No more rushed and frustrated mornings. No more nagging, no more raised voices, no more tears. Surely if I had plenty of time to get everything done without rushing, our mornings would be so much better.

Although I get up earlier now and there is no rushing on my part, our two little ones don’t know the meaning of staying on task. You would think by now in the second grade that at least Nathan would know the drill. Today it seemed all I did was stay on top of them to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush your hair, brush your teeth, feed the dog. I was beginning to get aggravating with them for not doing what they were supposed to do.

Sophie does not like to eat a big breakfast. I understand that. She eats well at lunch and supper, so I try not to make a big deal out of it as long as she eats something. This morning she said she didn’t feel good. This was nothing out of the ordinary because she often says that when she doesn’t want to do something. However, since I was packing snacks and lunches, I didn’t necessarily pay attention to how she was acting. If I had, I would have noticed that she was not her normal bubbly self. I would have noticed her quietness. I didn’t. I made her eat one little sausage biscuit and one strawberry because I figured she would be hungry again before snack-time. After much pushing to get her to finish, she began to cry.

Of course, this was not what I wanted our mornings to be like. I didn’t want to make her cry before I had to leave her for the day. Here we go again. I thought I had done everything right by making sure I was not hurried. By being so determined to stay on task, I had failed to pay attention to my daughter. I mean really pay attention. When she brushed her teeth, she gagged and threw up. While holding her hair back, I began to process the morning. She had coughed some at breakfast, and I didn’t realize then that she had sinus drainage which was making her tummy feel bad. So when she brushed her teeth, all the breakfast I made her eat was gone.

If I had only listened to her and evaluated her demeanor, I would have been more compassionate, and I would have never made her cry by forcing her to eat when she didn’t feel like it. I was too busy thinking that she was just trying to get out of eating to really listen to her. I’m learning that listening to my children is not just hearing, but seeing and evaluating. Things aren’t always what I think they are. I need to give my children the benefit of the doubt. Proverbs calls someone who doesn’t listen a fool.

“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” Proverbs 18:13

“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.” Proverbs 12:15

Ouch. I don’t want to be a fool. I vow to listen with my ears, my eyes and my heart.