Listen Up!

This school year I determined things were going to be different. No more rushed and frustrated mornings. No more nagging, no more raised voices, no more tears. Surely if I had plenty of time to get everything done without rushing, our mornings would be so much better.

Although I get up earlier now and there is no rushing on my part, our two little ones don’t know the meaning of staying on task. You would think by now in the second grade that at least Nathan would know the drill. Today it seemed all I did was stay on top of them to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush your hair, brush your teeth, feed the dog. I was beginning to get aggravating with them for not doing what they were supposed to do.

Sophie does not like to eat a big breakfast. I understand that. She eats well at lunch and supper, so I try not to make a big deal out of it as long as she eats something. This morning she said she didn’t feel good. This was nothing out of the ordinary because she often says that when she doesn’t want to do something. However, since I was packing snacks and lunches, I didn’t necessarily pay attention to how she was acting. If I had, I would have noticed that she was not her normal bubbly self. I would have noticed her quietness. I didn’t. I made her eat one little sausage biscuit and one strawberry because I figured she would be hungry again before snack-time. After much pushing to get her to finish, she began to cry.

Of course, this was not what I wanted our mornings to be like. I didn’t want to make her cry before I had to leave her for the day. Here we go again. I thought I had done everything right by making sure I was not hurried. By being so determined to stay on task, I had failed to pay attention to my daughter. I mean really pay attention. When she brushed her teeth, she gagged and threw up. While holding her hair back, I began to process the morning. She had coughed some at breakfast, and I didn’t realize then that she had sinus drainage which was making her tummy feel bad. So when she brushed her teeth, all the breakfast I made her eat was gone.

If I had only listened to her and evaluated her demeanor, I would have been more compassionate, and I would have never made her cry by forcing her to eat when she didn’t feel like it. I was too busy thinking that she was just trying to get out of eating to really listen to her. I’m learning that listening to my children is not just hearing, but seeing and evaluating. Things aren’t always what I think they are. I need to give my children the benefit of the doubt. Proverbs calls someone who doesn’t listen a fool.

“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” Proverbs 18:13

“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.” Proverbs 12:15

Ouch. I don’t want to be a fool. I vow to listen with my ears, my eyes and my heart.

Be Still and Know

“Be still and know that I am God”  This verse came to me through an email today at just the right time.  God is so kind to give us the encouragement we need just when we need it. 
My sweet baby girl started kindergarten.  It was easier for her than for me.  As I watched her this morning in her new classroom, I saw my little baby, not a 5 year old.  Being a stay-at-home mom, she has been with me almost all the time. Even after I went back to work and she started preschool, I was still able to spend the afternoons with her since both of us got out at noon. I’m not ready to let go. 
At the same time, my dad had to travel over 4 hours away to see a neurologist at a medical university to have tests run.  The local neurologist referred him because he has all the signs of Lou Gehrig’s disease.  He struggled for over a year with symptoms and saw several doctors before they were even able to give a probable diagnosis.  Then he had to wait 21/2 months to see this specialist.  It has been so difficult to see him succumb to this awful disease.  I wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t because it was Nathan and Sophie’s first day of school.  Even though my brother and my mom were there, I wanted to be there too. 
As I sat at work this morning I felt misplaced and almost useless.  I wanted to know how Sophie and Nathan were doing. I wished I could stay with Sophie to make sure she was ok.  To calm any fears and help her with a new task.  I wanted to be with my dad and mom.  To be there to lend moral support and to get answers to the many questions we have about Daddy’s condition and treatment options.  Instead I was sitting at my desk with so many thoughts running through my mind and so many emotions reeking havoc on my heart.  Then I saw those words, “Be still and know that I am God.” 
God reminded me that even though I can’t always take care of everyone all the time, He can.  He was at school with Sophie and Nathan.  He was in Augusta with my parents.  And He was with me in my office.  Having children (and being one) comes with many, many changes, emotional ups and downs and if we don’t trust God, many worries.  God reminded me today to rest in Him and simply trust Him.  Zephaniah 3:17 has become one of my favorite verses.  “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over your with singing.”  How many times as a mom have I needed God to quiet my heart and mind with His love?  I’ve learned that it is more than I can count.

Remember

There is a longing that God places in the heart of most women to have children. It’s a great way to insure repopulating the earth! When a woman wants a baby, she will go to great lengths to make it happen. It can become an obsession weighing on her heart and mind all day, every day when conception takes longer than she anticipated. I have been there. I have had friends and family who have been there. There is something about the desire for a child that can consume us.

Then, after months or even years of trying, they arrive… Sometimes it’s everything we imagined. Often times it’s not. Being a mom is often much, much harder than we ever realized it would be. But the love in our hearts is also more powerful than we ever knew it could be. It’s true. You can never describe to someone who isn’t a parent what it’s like to love your child. Nor can you ever experience that kind of love until you have one of your own. It’s impossible to understand until you are holding your precious baby in your arms. Day after day, week after week, the love grows. I remember when my babies were brand new. I would think that I couldn’t love them any more than I already did. Then a week later, the love had grown even deeper. It didn’t seem possible, but somehow it was. The more I got to know them and the more we interacted with each other, the fuller my heart became.

Sometimes when my kids are driving me crazy, it helps me to think about that. How I longed for children for years before they came. What was I thinking?! Of course, I’m just kidding. I don’t know what I would ever do without them now. Sometimes I look at them and still see a sweet chubby face of a 1 year old. My, they are growing up so fast.

I know not every child is planned. Sometimes, they are a sweet or perhaps shocking surprise. Either way, every child is special, and the Bible tells us children are a Gift from God. We would do ourselves and our children well to remember that fact, even when our nerves are frazzled. Or should I say especially when our nerves are frazzled. I’ve learned through 7 years of being a mom that no matter how much my kids make we want to scream or cry (admittedly I have done both), there is nothing they could ever do to make me stop loving them. I think I’ll give my mom a call…