Be Glad Now!

I’ll be glad when… Have you ever said that regarding your children? One of the best pieces of parental advice I heard when I started on this journey of motherhood, was to refrain from saying, “I’ll be glad when…or I’ll be happy when…”  

OK, I admit, I have said it. Colic is a real reason to say, “I’ll be glad when my child does not have colic anymore!” or “I’ll be glad when this reflux is under control.”  Absolutely legitimate and not an ounce of guilt!  But if we are not careful, we can feel that way through so many stages of our children’s lives.  “I’ll be glad when he is off the bottle. I’ll be glad when she is out of diapers. I’ll be happy when he starts walking and I don’t have to carry him everywhere or when he sleeps all night (ok, another legitimate one).  I’ll be glad when he can dress himself or bathe himself, when she finishes middle school, when he can drive himself everywhere.”

Are we wishing our children right into adulthood? Consider the good aspects of those stages and enjoy the moment with your child. Bottle feeding means cuddling, diaper changes means looking into your babies eyes and having his full attention while you are talking to him. Now, I don’t miss the smelly diapers, but I do miss the eye to eye contact and communication that came with having my babies still on a changing table.  I can remember our son being amused by his toes, his first body part he could name; every diaper change came with him clutching them and hearing him say, “Toesss.” Bath-time is a time of connection and play. When they start walking, then we have to keep up with them!  Driving comes with concerns of its own and no more conversations or singing together in the car.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of this as well. Sometimes those stages I have wished away are the ones I long to have back.  We need to make the most of our time with our children while we have them with us.  Perspective is the key. Changing our perspective means changing our attitude which means more happiness in this journey of parenthood. 

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” James 4:14

“Make the most of every opportunity…” Ephesians 5:16

Don't Give Up!

“So let us not get tired of doing what is good, for in due season we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9

Trimming shrubs and pruning trees is like therapy for me. It helps relieve stress. I am in a zone! Towards the end of February, I spent a week using my spare time to trim all of our shrubs, trees and rose bushes. I weeded the flower beds and while my husband was gone for the weekend, had straw put out as a surprise. We were ready for spring! 

After just a couple of weeks, the rose bushes were already full of new growth and the first lovely pink blooms have now appeared. The bare branches of the Loropetalum bushes that I cut way back are now covered with maroon colored leaves and tiny dark pink flowers. The miracle of spring! When I finished cutting and cleaning and admired my work, my flower beds looked clean but quite bare! The pruned bushes had no show of beauty, no sign of life for all my hard work. All I could do was wait.  Wait for God’s perfect timing for nature to do its thing!

It reminded me of raising children. How often have I wondered if any of the teaching I give my children will produce a harvest? It may seem that some things we plant into their lives take a long time to come to fruition. It can be frustrating having addressed the same heart issue time and again and wonder if the beauty of the fruit will ever appear on the bare branches of our child’s life. Galatians 6:9 reminds us not to grow weary in doing good for we will reap a harvest at the proper time if we don’t give up. That includes the character traits, values and attitudes we instill in our children.

I witnessed a small bloom breaking forth on our son just the other day in a specific area that we have been working on for a long time and, on the surface, looked to be of no avail.  He picked up his sister’s coat and hung it up without being asked! A small physical act, yes, but a noticeable change in heart and attitude. I had asked both of them to put their coats where they belong. Since she was doing a chore elsewhere, he got there first. Not only did he put his away but he put hers away too. This was huge! He does well in many areas, but helping his sister, in any manner, was a struggle for him.  In fact, it was unheard of! A tiny blossom had emerged.  Yes!  The scriptures, the teaching and the prayers were paying off.

Since they are older now, I can see the evidence of growth in areas they struggled with as younger children. Sometimes, our efforts may seem futile, but they are not! In the hands of our Heavenly Father and by the work of the Holy Spirit, our children are learning and growing. Keep instilling the Word in them, keep praying, keep teaching with words and by example, and pruning with proper discipline. It may happen little by little, but we will see the new growth, the blossoms and the good fruit in their lives. 

“Therefore my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58