Love Like Family

“Be devoted to one anther in Love” Romans 12:10  Other translations read, “Love each other with family affection” (HCSB) and Love each other in a way that makes you feel close like brothers and sisters.” (Easy- to-Read Version) Our children had been at each other constantly, and I was at my wits' end. I couldn’t understand why they just couldn’t get along. Then people would tell me that it only gets worse. I didn’t see how that was possible.
Like most parents, I want my children to be close. I want them to love and respect one another. I don’t want them treating each other worse than they treat anyone else. I know that sisters and brothers often argue and disagree. I am the youngest of 5. However, I want them to learn now how important they are to one another. I want them to value each other. So I began teaching them Romans 12:9-21. These verses teach us how to get along with each other and how we are to behave in relationship to others. Verse 10, says “Be devoted to one another in love, honor one another above yourselves.” That simple verse could be the changing point of society if we would all adhere to it. One of our biggest problems in relationships and in the world is selfishness. Always thinking about what self needs and how to get it. Always letting little offenses cause anger and resentment instead of being quick to forgive, and often thinking the worst of each other with no ground to stand on. This often leads to a plethora of lies, hard feelings, and wounded hearts. I’ve seen families feud and not communicate because of misinformation and false accusations. I’ve known of families sadly torn apart over wills and inheritance because someone selfishly tried to manipulate other members to get more.
If we are devoted to one another in love, we would be more eager to care for others and less demanding that someone take care of us and give us what we want. If God thinks that “family affection” is so important and that the love between brothers and sisters is the example of how we should all love, shouldn’t families have the greatest love and affection to the members of their own family? Why then, do families fight and argue over petty things? Why do grown Christians not practice forgiveness toward family members, either by forgiving a wrong done to them or asking for forgiveness when they have wronged someone else? Why do members within their own family act selfishly and disrespectful toward each other?
We as parents have the responsibility to teach our children. This includes how families should act. Our children see our actions and hear our words. God placed our families together, whether we are blood related, adopted or married in. It’s time that families act the way God intended families to act. Let’s not expect everyone (but ourselves) to be perfect. Let’s stop being selfish and instead follow Philippians 2:4, “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35) Our treatment of each other says more about what we really believe than pretty much anything else.

That is what I am trying to teach my children. It all boils down to the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” God chose to make Nathan Sophie’s big brother. He is the only brother she has. He also chose for Sophie to be a little sister to Nathan. She is the only sister he has. They should honor God’s wisdom and be the best brother and sister they can be. I’ve learned that we all need to be more devoted to each other, especially to members of our own families.

Why Not?

We learn a lot by listening. Wow, what a concept! If we listen more than we talk, we can learn so much. I have learned so much by praying with my children and listening to what is in their hearts. This time was no different.
My Dad owns a cabinet shop. Cutting out doors, panels and drawers is routine for him. On more than one occasion he has nicked his finger with a saw. A couple of times, it was a little more than a nick and required a visit to the doctor’s office. This time, however, it called for a trip to the emergency room. He had cut off his thumb. There was no way to reattach it. So when we prayed with our children, Sophie always wanted to pray for PePa so his thumb would feel better. We prayed that every night for weeks.

After my dad’s thumb had basically healed, other than being a little sore, Sophie still asked God to help his thumb. This one time, however, before we began to pray, she told me that she wanted to pray for Pepa’s thumb to grow back. Before I even thought about what I was saying, I told her that Pepa’s thumb could not grow back. “Why not?” she asked. See, my sweet daughter had been taught that God could do anything…and she believed it. “Pepa’s thumb is gone honey, and if a part of your body is gone, it can’t grow back. But we can pray that God will make all the pain go away.” And so we did.
As soon as I walked out of her bedroom, conviction hit me like an anvil. Who was I to pass on my doubt and unbelief to Sophie? Aren’t we supposed to have “childlike” faith? My heart ached as I knew I had likely just placed doubt in my daughter’s heart about God’s ability and willingness to perform miracles. She didn’t even think of it as a miracle. It would just be God being God. It wasn’t that I didn’t think He could make my Dad’s thumb grow back. I knew He could do anything. I was so accustomed, though, to not expecting miracles that I automatically assumed it wasn’t even something to pray about.
I marched right back into her room and told her I was sorry for telling her not to pray the way she felt in her heart to pray. I told her that if she wanted to pray for Pepa’s thumb to grow back, then that is what she should do. I reminded her that God is certainly able to do it. Now, has his thumb grown back? No. Has my daughter been disappointed with God? No. Whether or not my Dad’s thumb grows back is up to God. Teaching my daughter to trust and believe in God is up to me. Not just by my words, mind you, but by my actions as well.