Monday, August 15, 2016

Back to the Basics



A few weeks ago, my family and I were standing in line at the Penguin exhibit at Sea World, Olrando.  It was hot. I mean sticky, sweaty, and exhaustingly hot. We had not yet made it into the cold air inside and it was taunting us. 

Behind me was a little boy around 4 years old. He was not tired. He was full of energy and standing in a crowded line was not conducive to his level of liveliness.  He was constantly moving in-between his family and others standing around him, climbing on rocks and being really loud.  It was Sea World; he’s allowed to be excited, though it was getting to be a bit much. He was also, though unintentionally, stepping on our feet and bumping into us a lot.  


The boy’s behavior didn’t bother me as much as what the grandmother did to try to control him. The mother was standing there as well, apparently oblivious to the whole thing.  Instead of stopping him and explaining to him why his behavior was unacceptable, grandma threatened him with bodily harm…from me! She told him if he didn’t stop, I was going to hit him. I couldn’t believe my ears! I looked at this little boy, looking up at me, and told him that I was not going to hit him. Thankfully the line moved and we were finally inside the exhibit.


Now, I realize this woman was joking, but the little boy didn’t know that. To him, I was the bad guy. To him, he needed to stop what he was doing so that I wouldn’t hit him, not because it was inconsiderate.  I was just standing there, minding my own business; how did I become the bad guy? 

How will children ever learn that their behavior and actions are their own responsibility if we put the blame off on other people? How will they learn that their behavior affects other people and they should be considerate of others, not because bodily harm will come to them, but because it’s the right to do?


This is part of the problem with today’s culture; we, as a society, are not teaching our children to take responsibility for their own actions. We blame everyone else, so our kids do too. We are not teaching them to respect and think about other people. And often, like the oblivious mom in this scenario, we want other people to do our parenting for us. 

So many kids grow up having no regard for anyone but themselves. Whatever happened to plain old good manners? When did teaching manners become cliché? It’s time we take back our role as parents and teach our kids how to have self-control, to take responsibility for their words and actions and live respectfully in a society with other people.

Monday, August 8, 2016

You Get What You Get...



I hear screams coming from the other end of the house...again.  I know them well. My daughter. I don't panic though. It's a play scream. Her brother is tickling her or threatening to tickle her. Or he is looking at her with mischief of some sort in his eye. Oh my soul. I dislike those screams verily: ear piercing, make the dog howl, nails on a chalkboard screams. 

Before I walk through house to tell them to stop, I am reminded that I prayed for this. Really? Well, sort of. My heart's desire is that my children be best friends, that they enjoy each others' company. Apparently doing that includes screaming. My children have two sides. They are screaming with each other because they are happy and playing or they are fussing and sometimes yelling because they are angry with each other. 

I'm choosing happy. I can hear the screams right now. So, I shut my door. I like quietness and order. But God in his sometimes humorous wisdom, gave me two loud children! If they are happy and playing together, they are wrestling, screaming and laughing, loudly. I need to learn to live with that. That is the way they get along best right now. And isn't that what I actually want? I realize if I step in and end their play every time it gets louder than what I would like, I could be altering their future relationship. Light bulb moment, right now, believe it or not, they are bonding.

Soon, when I have had enough, and don't think me a saint of a mom, It.Will.Happen, I will put them outside. But for now, I am reminded of the saying Sophie learned in preschool, "You get what you get (come on say it with me) and you don't pitch a fit!"